If you saw my earlier post, you know that Rob Paulsen and I were scheduled to do a live show at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Theatre this Friday and next.

Well, it turns out we’re going to have to reschedule both shows. The Lovitz has a completely new staff and they’re also under new management, so there are scheduling conflicts and other problems to work through. The good news is, none of us have to leave our homes, and THAT’S ALL I EVER WANTED

We’ll try to reschedule this bastard as soon as possible. In the meantime, your tickets to the May 24th and 31st shows will be refunded.

Sorry for any inconvenience, and let’s never speak of this again.

GO GO 2D NOLO!

That first step is a doozy.

Nothing says, “Olympics” like ET on a bed of bacon.

This may be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. I haven’t been this down since Michael Phelps lost his Kellogs deal.

Well, they were until YOU PAINTED THEM

Maybe a lamp, but probably a piece of shit.

Wow, now I feel stoned.

Sometimes I like to wipe my ass with 30 year old toilet paper and think about Eric Heiden.

DON’T JUDGE ME

Jesus woman, get a grip. Your three year old doesn’t need a fucking lover’s locket with your hair in it. She’s taking nap, not going to Kosovo. Maybe we should think about raising kids who are not having panic attacks over weaning when they’re old enough to tell you what they want engraved on their jewelry. Seriously, if your kid has preferred color palettes and an appreciation for multi-colored metals, she should be interning at MAC.