One of the greatest things about Etsy is that it allows every woman – no matter what her size or shape – to look like a fucking idiot for about $100.

- Submitted by ButtHurtBarbie

IT WAS COMIC SANS THAT KILLED HIM

A few weeks ago, a reader named Shannon asked me to find an artist to draw a zombie Colonel Sanders and characters from McDonaldland. It was to be a surprise for her husband, who for reasons known only to him, actually wanted something like this.

When you need something this special, call on the Fat Jealous Losers of Regretsy. We’re not here to judge you, we’re here to make your dreams come true.

Actually, we are here to judge you, but let’s not split hairs.

The point is, we had a contest. We received over 100 submissions, and you chose Regretsy regular Brian J. Smith from the finalists. Brian delivered his bleak vision of the Zombie Fast Food Apocalypse to Shannon this week, and it was a big hit.

We are both really, really happy with the way the piece turned out. I told my husband the whole story about Regretsy and the undead Sophie’s Choice situation and the voting and he couldn’t stop smiling. He looked through the gallery of submissions this weekend, and he wants everyone to know that he loves their work and he can’t believe that many people would take the time to sketch or paint this ridiculousness and that it was all for him.

Here are some pictures of him and the framed final product. Once again, you fat jealous losers have made someone feel good, you bastards.

Shannon

Want your own print of the Zombie Fast Food Apocalypse? Visit Brian J. Smith’s WePay store