Even though her arm had already fallen off, no one had the nerve to tell Cousin Scott that Nicole had died three months before the wedding.

- Click the image to read the whole column

Holy hell, it’s up.

A few months ago, I mentioned that I had been hired by Conde Nast to write a wedding column. I guess they figured I’ve already ruined crafting for you, why not ruin your wedding?

Well it’s up today, as part of the newly relaunched and retooled Brides.com.

Let me know what you think!

The cookie cutter wedding is over, ladies! Nobody wants anything well made and flattering anymore. The hot new thing is rubbing a glue stick all over yourself and rolling around in a pile of placemats.

Mazel Tov!

“When I grow up, I’m going to marry George Zimmer at the Men’s Wearhouse!”