Some of you may know that in addition to doing whatever it is I do over here, I also write a monthly column for Brides.com. Not content to ruin your crafting experience, I also enjoy urinating on your wedding. Click on the photo to go to the column.

Actually, this particular column is a little more sentimental than snarky, but I can’t always be nasty and unpleasant.

Oh wait, yes I can.

Someone’s going to get rich inventing spellcheck for cross stitch.

I don’t think you have more then one made of honor, but I’m going to conversation you right now.

How about this one?

Even though her arm had already fallen off, no one had the nerve to tell Cousin Scott that Nicole had died three months before the wedding.

- Click the image to read the whole column

Holy hell, it’s up.

A few months ago, I mentioned that I had been hired by Conde Nast to write a wedding column. I guess they figured I’ve already ruined crafting for you, why not ruin your wedding?

Well it’s up today, as part of the newly relaunched and retooled Brides.com.

Let me know what you think!

The cookie cutter wedding is over, ladies! Nobody wants anything well made and flattering anymore. The hot new thing is rubbing a glue stick all over yourself and rolling around in a pile of placemats.

Mazel Tov!

“When I grow up, I’m going to marry George Zimmer at the Men’s Wearhouse!”

Man, these guys really went all out. I think I saw this on Platinum Weddings.