94

NICE BASKET

Here comes Mrs. Cottontail
Flappin’ down the bunny trail
Flippity floppin’, down the grassy knoll
She’ll give every baby a
Chance to see her labia
And look for Easter presents in her hole

She’s got jelly beans for Tommy
Diva cups for sister Sue
She delivers them like mommy
From her purple felt vagoo

You’ll wake up on Easter morning
And you’ll know that she was there
When you find those pastel tampons
That she’s hiding everywhere

Oh! Here comes Mrs. Cottontail
Flappin’ down the bunny trail
Flippity floppity Happy Red Tent Day

53

False Advertising

This post first appeared on Regretsy on April 6, 2011

OK, raise your hand if you thought this was going to be a picture of Joan Rivers.

300

Big Pussy (MNSFW)

I tell you what. Eight grand, and you throw in the taint.

301

Left of Placenta

The only way this could be more disgusting is if it came with earrings.