This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 18, 2011

SWEET JESUS

This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 9, 2011

“This is NOT Summer’s Eve!” Like there’s some great disadvantage to buying FDA approved sanitary products made in hygienic conditions. That is so corporate, man. Down with Big Pussy!

I’m sorry, there is no way I’m buying a bag of parsley and cat hair douche from a stranger on the internet. Jesus Christ, I wouldn’t even buy food on Etsy, much less hillbilly bajingo wash.

This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 3, 2011

Just what it sounds like. A $250 cake that looks like snatch and tastes like ass.

This post first appeared on Regretsy on January 20, 2011

You see darling, now that you’re a woman, your uterus will become puffy and swollen every 28 days. And when we beat you with sticks, candy will fall out of your vagina!

Who wants cake?