Regretsy » Twilight http://www.regretsy.com Where DIY Meets WTF Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:30:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Pillow Biter http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/15/pillow-biter/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/15/pillow-biter/#comments Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:30:20 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=10643

Half man, half pillow, full retard.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/15/pillow-biter/feed/ 151 Starsucks http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/21/starsucks/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/21/starsucks/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:15:27 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=8695

BE SAFE, CONTENTS ARE EXTREMELY HOT

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/21/starsucks/feed/ 47 Terror Cotta http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/21/terror-cotta/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/21/terror-cotta/#comments Mon, 21 Dec 2009 20:05:01 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=7181

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward had a wooden doll head. Second, there was a part of him – and I think it might have just been his arms – that was made from pipe cleaners. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably a flower pot.”

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/21/terror-cotta/feed/ 89 Initial Disappointment http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/11/initial-disappointment/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/11/initial-disappointment/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:24:21 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=6370

One earring is an “E” for “Execrable’, and one is a “J” for ‘Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, you have got to be shitting me.”

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/11/initial-disappointment/feed/ 89 Helen Back http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/04/helen-back/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/04/helen-back/#comments Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:24:18 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=5919

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/04/helen-back/feed/ 71 Swan Dive http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/11/swan-dive/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/11/swan-dive/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:21:05 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=4001

This reminds me of the time my dog ate a box of crayons.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/11/swan-dive/feed/ 88 Uncanny http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/06/uncanny/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/06/uncanny/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:36:22 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=3825

You know, I’ve seen a lot of this kind of stuff in the last few weeks. But this is hands down the best painting of Edward Mulhare yet.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/06/uncanny/feed/ 43 Dead Ringer http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/04/dead-ringer/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/04/dead-ringer/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:05:15 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=3679

I don’t remember Edward Cullen having a mullet. I think this might be Paula Poundstone.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/04/dead-ringer/feed/ 27 Reduce, Reuse, Reanimate http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/30/reduce-reuse-reanimate/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/30/reduce-reuse-reanimate/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:00:45 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=3123

If you really loved the planet, you and your fellow artisans would stop crapping out unlicensed Twilight crafts for 5 minutes.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/30/reduce-reuse-reanimate/feed/ 34 Check, Please http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/23/check-please/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/23/check-please/#comments Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:55:12 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=2786

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, there was a sale at Hot Topic. Second, I really wanted the New Moon ‘Team Jacob’ Charm Bracelet. And third, I would need two forms of ID.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/23/check-please/feed/ 21 Not a good sign http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/19/not-a-good-sign/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/19/not-a-good-sign/#comments Tue, 20 Oct 2009 01:05:22 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=2149

Oh this is a great idea. Giant vinyl lettering on your wall that tells every new sex partner you’d rather be fucking a dead teenager.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/19/not-a-good-sign/feed/ 33 Team Loser http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/14/team-loser/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/14/team-loser/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:29:08 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=1705

Hey, guess what? Your baby doesn’t give a fat shit about the Cullens. The only one obsessing about teenaged vampires is you and your stupid friends. You know what your baby wants? Milk. So stop looking at the New Moon trailer on YouTube and give him a fucking bottle. Seriously, you’re too old for this shit.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/14/team-loser/feed/ 19 Wine and Cheese http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/13/wine-and-cheese/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/13/wine-and-cheese/#comments Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:28:44 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=465

Look, I’m a vampire! What? Wait let me lower the glass a little bit. Okay now look! What? Okay how about now? No? Try putting your head on the table and looking up at me. See? It’s like I’m drinking blood. Because I have fangs. No, on the glass. No, those are etched in the glass so it looks like I . . . oh fuck it.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/13/wine-and-cheese/feed/ 5 Shoes of the Damned http://www.regretsy.com/2009/09/27/shoes-of-the-damned/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/09/27/shoes-of-the-damned/#comments Mon, 28 Sep 2009 05:21:09 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=17

I don’t know what the “freebies” are that come with these hideous sneakers, but with any luck they’ll be change of address forms. Because as soon as someone in your neighborhood sees you wearing these things, you’re on the list to get your emo weepy ass kicked every fucking day for the rest of your pathetic life.

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