I’ve seen my share of “reborn” dolls in the last year, but this is the first reborn vampire baby I’ve run across. And I’m only sorry I wasn’t in my car at the time.

Meet Jasper Dean, “the remarkable offspring of Jasper and Alice”.

Click image to view eBay auction

From the description:

GORGEOUS TWILIGHT BABY

HIS FANGS ARE SECURED INTO HIS MOUTH BUT CARE SHOULD BE TAKEN WHEN USING HIS MODIFIED PACIFIER AND BOTTLE OF FAKE ANIMAL BLOOD.

IF YOU CHOOSE TO CHANGE HIS NAME LET ME KNOW AT TIME OF ADOPTION AND IT CAN BE PUT ON HIS ADOPTION PAPERS.

The auction ended about an hour ago, with a winning bid of $90 plus $25 in shipping.

Someone paid $115 for this fucking thing, and they are going to talk to it and sing to it and cuddle it and pretend to feed it animal blood from a baby bottle every day. That’s what’s out there people, and that’s why I don’t leave my house unless I have to.

Happy Friday!

I don’t know who Robert Patterson is, but I bet this doesn’t look like him either.

Few people realized Edward Cullen had a lazy eye because they were distracted by his hay wig.

This is either Mario Lopez or that guy from CSI Miami.

This is actually from a lesser known version of Twilight, starring Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort and Alice Ghostley as Leelee Sobieski.

To celebrate the release of Eclipse today, we’re reposting one of our favorite Twilight crafts of 2009. Be safe!

Thanks for the heads up.

Oh dear.

OMG I like to call them that too!

Most Twilight fans have empty jars of Tostitos Queso dip lying around in their bedrooms. Also Burger King trash. So materials aren’t going to be a problem.

BITCH YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE

That plastic cup hot glued to a Tostitos jar sure looks like an expensive candle! Take that, Jo Malone! Waaa laaa!

Please don’t say it. Please. Please.

Shit