Oh God, I am so, so conflicted,

Someone just sent me an email saying they saw these freshly posted on Etsy.

YouTube video of Dennis Hopper in action

Pantswetting video of this toy in motion

I am sick. Really sick about this, because as you know, the last one of these he posted, the Bill Nighy one, I bought immediately, before even posting it here. And My Paypal finger is itchy like you wouldn’t believe right now. I want these so badly.

But I am going to let someone else have a shot at this. I think I have to. It’s only fair.

But mark my words, if these aren’t sold by the end of the day, they’re going right on the counter over there, and you can all kiss my ass.

GUESS WHAT NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE TWO TRIPS TO THE TRASH

QUESTIONS:

1. What am I looking at?
2. Where did the alien get the horse? Is it an alien horse? If so, does it contain nuts?
2. What if I wanted the head made out a filbert?
3. How much is shipping to Earth?
4. Can I buy this if I have squirrels?

CONVO ME

I don’t know what’s more fun – the yarn or the furry acorn! Well, just throw it in the crib and let the baby figure it out.

Is this a fun toy or what? Look at the screaming people trapped in the burning building! And what about the guy falling to his death? Oh, it’s just adorable! I’m glad they used lead-free paint so I could give it to my toddler.

- Submitted by Nicole

Oh come on! Do we have to put a vagina on everything? Is there not one thing exempt from being vaginified? Hey you know what would be great? A vagina on a vagina. Let’s do that. The more vaginas the better, I always say. And there should also be a detachable vagina on the outer vagina, and you can keep your fucking tampon in it. God, I hate people.