One of the most awesome things about Etsy crafters is the way they leap on human suffering with a hot glue gun and a bag full of bottlecaps. I like to call it, “Tragicrafting.”
We’ve seen Amy Winehouse death crafts, a Liz Taylor pile on, some super fun hurricane swag, and perhaps most tastefully, a Casey Anthony payday! So is it any wonder that Nine-Elevenailia has been steadily creeping into The World’s Most Vibrant Handmade Suckhole?
A cynical person might suggest that this is just another crappy way to make a buck, but by now you know that I am not a cynical person. I’m a God damned Pollyanna, is what I am. And I will tell you right now that Tragicrafting™ is not about money; it’s about healing.
Yes, closure is just a click away. And it only takes Paypal.
So here are my top ten 9-11 Tragicrafts on Etsy. I only hope you’re as proud as I am.
LET THE HEALING BEGIN!
10. LUIGI AND CHILD
9. WHITE MICHAEL JACKSON
8. From right to Left: LARA CROFT, CATWOMAN, JENNY FROM THE BLOCK, IMPLANTERELLA
6. DR. AND MRS. SPOCK
5. THE SAW GUY
4. TINY TIM as THE JOKER or something and I don’t know what the hell is happening here
3. POCAHONTAS THE JEDI WARRIOR
2. SUE SYLVESTER from GLEE
And my number one favorite costume at Comic Con:
This looks like something you found under your desk when Make it Work came over to hook up your router.
9. SHOUT IT OUT
It’s more of a shart than a scarf.
8. STAY OUT OF MY BEADS
That damn cat is going to kill herself one of these days.
7. $85 CHOCOLATE NECKLACE
I guess the groom is supposed to eat them right off your neck. Hopefully it’s not an outdoor wedding.
6. CALL THE DOCTOR
I think she should rename these Hepatitis Drops.
5. LORENZO’S COIL
Coincidentally, “Smooth Cherry Cordial” is also a new Metamucil flavor.
4. HAPPY EASTER
Here comes Peter’s Diaper Pail!
“Travelers would stack cairns, or piles of stones on trails to let others know the way, so put on these earrings and lead the way! “
2. OW OW OW
Well, maybe if you ate something other than Taco Bell every once in a while, you wouldn’t have these problems.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT LOOKS LIKE A TURD IS . . .
1. I’M NOT PICKING THAT UP
Why do they always do it when you don’t have a plastic bag?