This post first appeared on Regretsy on August 15, 2011.

Let’s face it, sex sells. And if there’s one thing Etsy sellers are good at – besides painting mustaches on everything and collecting unemployment – it’s finding ways to shove gratuitous beaver shots and nip slips into their listings.

In fact, they may be too good at it. Because sometimes the imagery is so extreme, you don’t even know what they’re selling.

So here’s a short quiz for you. These are all Etsy listings for something… but for what? Take your best guess, then click on the image for the answer.

Not quite there yet? Click here for more DIY spank bank fodder

This post first appeared on Regretsy in June of 2011

If we’ve learned one thing from Ebay, it’s that nothing sells your worthless crap like showing your tits.

But Ebay is not the only online resource for spank banking. It turns out that Etsy is a treasure trove of gratuitous imagery. And I’m not even talking about pasties or bras, or other garments that require your tits be shown. I’m talking about finding a way to show your tits when you’re selling pants. Those are the real heroes.

And as a special bonus, men are starting to get into the forced, self conscious style of artsy exhibitionism, proving conclusively that there is something for everyone on Etsy – providing everyone is sitting in front of their computer with their dick out.

KEEP CALM AND JERK ON