The young adventuress, who had taken to daily absinthe rinses, revealed the result of her ablutions. Her verdant tresses were so ghastly that we started back in horror.

Would you be so kind as to tell me how to navigate, how to navigate my velocipede to Sesame Street?

This was no ordinary baby. This was the work of disgraced inventor William Pennyweight, wayward son of a noble but now impoverished family, who, along with his trusty assistant Chugginton, hand built this clockwork steam powered infantomaton using a dental mannequin head and a broken oscillomagnometer, creating a sleek new cyborg model like nothing the world has ever seen.