From: Rachel
Subject: Buy Handmade
Date: October 11, 2011 10:52:06 AM PDT
To: Helen@regretsy.com

I was on Etsy a few nights ago, looking for elephant themed jewelry. I saw this on the first page of my search:

I instantly recognized it as being something that ModCloth also sells.

I reported the item to Etsy, giving them the ModCloth link, in order to show that it couldn’t have been handmade.

That was over a week ago. Today, it turned up in the search again. What gives? I wondered.

Then I saw it. “toofashion2010″ has nearly 6,000 sales. Oh.

BUY HANDMADE!

Dear Rachel,

Thanks for sending us your find.

True, toofashion2010 appears to be a reseller, and yes, they have now made over 6,000 sales, which is a lot of money for the Etsy coffers. And granted, this is the same seller who recently closed down her Ebay store, where she had sold over 6,000 pieces of the same jewelry.

But I think you’re missing two very important pieces of information.

First, the seller makes everything by hand:

And secondly, Etsy takes all complaints about resellers “on a case by case basis.” Maybe you just didn’t give them enough cases.

So here are nineteen more cases from the same shop for Etsy to look into, as soon as they stop gloating on PBS that they are a handmade marketplace, and not a fucking cesspool of three dollar shit, hawked on the backs of actual artists trying to sell their work there.

Hope deal with you again, have a good time!

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Oh, I know what you’re saying.

Whatever, whiney pants.

You don’t hear Handcrafts2Door complaining, do you? No you don’t, because their little collective is too busy hand sewing to bitch and moan about “unfair competition”, “factory wholesalers”, “sweatshop labor” and all the other sad little excuses you fat, lazy fuckers keep handing out instead of working.

Turn off Dr. Phil and let’s get going. You work hard enough, you might just see your work on a wholesale website. Then you can quit your day job and move to Brooklyn, where you can drink whiskey on your bicycle and listen to ukelele music.

CC: CHAD DICKAROUND

Let’s face it, Etsy is hard work.

Between setting up sock puppet accounts to heart your store and trying not to get muted in the forums, who has the time to make stuff?

Meet Vaughanseller, an Etsy seller who just set up shop two days ago. She’s got a fantastic time-saving method for getting things done. In fact, she’s already got seven things in her store! What’s her secret?

JUST STEAL SHIT

That’s right, just take whatever you want. Take the picture, the copy, the whole thing. Now you’re free to smoke pot and watch Dr. Phil. Talk about quitting your day job!

Okay, so you didn’t make the piece yourself. Hell, maybe you don’t even know how to make it! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The important thing is, you’ve got Paypal!

Vaughanseller:

Noveena on Artfire:

And by the way, copying and pasting is hard work. So make sure you give yourself a nice little mark-up.

Oops! Left the watermark in. Hope Francesca Lynn won’t mind!

Enough bracelets. A good store steals necklaces, too!

From Jada Jewels on Artfire:

One word of caution – make sure you take out the original artist’s name first.

See you on the front page!

Let’s look at yesterday’s hand made favorites!

What an awesome pocket watch! That must have taken forever to make. No wonder it sold so fast!

Don’t worry if you missed it. She has more.

And if she’s sold out, try these guys.

Of course, you may not be in the market for several hundred handmade mass produced pocket watches. So if you’re only looking for one at a time, try this seller.

He may not have that exact handmade model, but he’s sure to have something equally unique!

Or you could just do a keyword search. With thousands of handmade pocket watches, you’ll probably find something.

In honor of the royal wedding, here are some special, handpicked Etsy finds!

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Aren’t those yummy? Look at all those pale things! I don’t even know what they are, but they’re muted, and that’s good enough for me. WANT WANT WANT!

Let’s keep looking!

Holy crap, would you look at that sapphire? What incredible workmanship! Let’s click through to see the talented hand crafter who toiled over that beauty!

585 listings? Well no wonder KNR INC quit his day job! He doesn’t have time for anything else! Well, except listing on Ebay.

What a great success story! The Little Diamond Wholesaler That Could! Just goes to show you what Etsy exposure can do. In just a few hours, KNR Inc went from a making rings in his garage to running a showroom in the diamond district with between 51-200 employees!

And just in case the men are feeling left out, here are some handmade pieces for the gents!

So keep chugging little crafter! All you need is a wholesale account and a few hundred listings, and you too can be one of Etsy’s handpicked favorites!

UPDATE: ETSY SPRINGS INTO ACTION

Regretsy reader Melissa sent an email of complaint to Emily, the person at Etsy who curated this assortment of fuckery. A company wide meeting was held immediately thereafter to discuss plans for the spring picnic, and who would sew the sacks for the three-legged race.

Later, Melissa received this reply:

Thanks for contacting me about this. If you have a concern, I encourage you to flag the item. The items for this email were vetted, and returned no concerns.

Best,
Emily

Yesterday’s post about Glamour promoting resellers on Etsy really got some action. Etsy has been shutting them down all morning! And by “them”, I mean anyone complaining about it.

While they’re busy studying exchange rates, here are a few more handmade gowns I found this morning. Look for them soon on the front page, between an old typewriter and a Mason jar full of bees.

BONUS FUCKERY:

No, you certainly will not!

But you will find it here.

THE WEDDING CAKE IS A LIE

This wedding gown was lovingly handmade by Joyce, a plucky 29 year old who loves to sew.

One of the great things about hand making beautiful wedding gowns and selling them on Etsy is that you might get the attention of a major publication, like say, GLAMOUR.

Isn’t that incredible? It’s like everything Etsy has been telling you all this time is really true! Just a little hard work and perseverance, and you can make a living selling your handmade goods! It’s the American dream!

Well, maybe American is the wrong word.

Man, Joyce works really hard. Maybe I’m just jealous because I can’t make 300 wedding dresses a day. Crafters are the real heroes.

I GUESS I’M JUST A HATER

UPDATE: THE DERP CONTINUES

BUY HANDMADE!

Today we’re looking at the beautiful hand made work of Girlybox. Girlybox’s store slogan is “Making the fun out of it!” Which is really adorable because its means absolutely nothing and she doesn’t know it.

Here’s the first design:

Isn’t that beautiful? I wonder how long it takes her to hand bead and construct one of these gowns.

Oh, well not very long at all I guess! Either that or she just has really good time management skills.

And another beautiful hand made design! This poor woman must be exhausted! She didn’t even have the energy to cover up the factory watermark!

She can only do 1,000 of these a month. All those studs on the bodice are a bitch, and she only has one Bedazzler.

Party time? I don’t think so, Girlybox! You’re not going to any parties this month, not with 5,000 dresses to sew by hand!

Girlybox was so busy handcrafting the hundreds of dresses she sold on Etsy that she didn’t even have time to fill out her profile! But don’t worry, you can see it here.

BUY HANDMADE!

ALL YOUR DREAM BELONG TO US

“AS” SOLD SEPARATELY

I LOVE that book!

Professor Archimedes McFerrin could make all manner of noise with his infernal voice box.

I can’t believe you people. Have you ever tried to make Nivea Antiperspirant? It’s not easy, you know. You have to make Hydrogenated Castor Oil, 18-36 Acid Trygliceride and Stearyl Alcohol, and that takes a long time. But you just come here and laugh because you’re too stupid to make anything yourself. At least this guy is putting his work out there. What are you doing? I feel sorry for you.

Wait, so you can sell your car on Etsy now?

This is great news! I’ve got a shitty car and a roll of tape, and I could really use $100,000.

Feel free to heart me in advance!

I take Paypal

I wish there was some way to tell when something isn’t really hand made. Some kind of keywords, or phrases to look out for. Hmmmm.

It sure is tricky. I don’t know how Etsy manages to stay on top of it!