Posted March 16, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Michael Jackson

My only complaint about this is that thing under his eye. If they had just started the whole thing a little to the left, they could have used it for the nose.

Posted October 22, 2009 by Helen Killer Filed in Michael Jackson

If you think this is hideous, You Are Not Alone.

Posted October 20, 2009 by Helen Killer Filed in Cats, Michael Jackson

If you’re going to do this, you should really do this.

Posted October 13, 2009 by Helen Killer Filed in Dolls, Michael Jackson

It’s a good thing Michael Jackson is dead, because this would have killed him.

Posted October 2, 2009 by Helen Killer Filed in Copyright Infringements, Michael Jackson

I would have thought a great gift to keep Michael alive might have been a defibrillator. But I’m not a doctor.

Other than that, this makes perfect sense. Because whenever I hear “Michael Jackson”, I immediately think “baseball”. Well technically, I think “Little League”, but you know what I’m saying.

Posted September 29, 2009 by Helen Killer Filed in Michael Jackson

So what exactly is a “Michael Jackson Emergency”, and how is this supposed to help? Is it made of asbestos, and meant to be used when your hair catches on fire during a Pepsi shoot? Do you wear it when you don’t want to leave fingerprints on the Jesus juice? Or is it just for when you miss Michael so much, only an object he had no personal connection with will help? Whatever. It’s only $250. You can’t even buy a hit of Propofol with that.

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