Here’s a quick rough version of a new holiday cookie – the Human Gingerbread Centipede. Seasons greetings!
This year, I decided to try my hand at making gingerbread men. The mixing and baking went smoothly, but when it came to the decorating I ran into some trouble because I started drinking right after I snipped the end off of my icing tube.
Regretsy has inspired me to solve a problem I’ve had. My tree was all naked and sad on top, and now it’s … well it’s something. Thanks for the help!
I am an American working for a company in Japan, the land where Christmas is vaguely celebrated, but where whimsicle fuckery is practically a national pastime. I spotted these at my local discount store, Don Quijote, and I have to say, they did put me in the Regretsy Christmas spirit… of wanting to gouge my eyes out and hide in a corner softly sobbing to myself.
FOLLOW UP: Libby was kind enough to send me four of these, after I begged her repeatedly and threatened to cry. Here are my friends, Sam and Woody, who came over last night and got drunk, and thought I wouldn’t post this.
And speaking of masks…
Hey you worthless discusting looser asshole i’d liek to send you a bag of flaming dog shit for Christmas please give me your mailing address. Happy holidays.
I’d like to take a moment to appreciate the glittering parade of fuckery over the past year. Thanks to you and cheap vodka, I haven’t killed myself despite the number of sagging schlongs, putty, pocked ass cheeks, and the regrets of life choices I face on a daily basis. I was so close to becoming a prostitute, why the fuck did I go back to art school?
Some Cunt Who’s Not Even Registered
I was flipping through the September issue of Z!NK Magazine the other day and was hit with a face full of Fuckery. In one of their editorials, someone had styled a cardigan as a Skant.
It was a good thing I was in the bathroom at the time, because I almost shit myself when I saw it.
Thanks for all you do to keep me in the loop.
I found this on the side of the road today and thank God Jesus blessed me with a backyard to put it in.
It is a carpet Jesus with his friends of all races. I see Betty White in there too.
Mounted onto wood with a place for a light bulb in the back- we are scared to plug it in though.
I came across the Lollipop prom dress a few minutes ago and I realized, completely coincidentally, that one of my friends just had a photo shoot of yarn heads. She knows nothing of regretsy or etsy or anything. I feel dirty for knowing someone who could think this shit up.
THE MEN WHO LOOK AT GOATSE:
Thanks a lot. I can’t even look at my daughters vacation bible school craft without seeing Goatse.
Full article here.
From: Charles Eldridge
Subject: FULL-ON YARN PORN
Date: September 7, 2010 9:52:55 PM PDT
Today’s Regretsy posts of people in “sexy” yarn creations reminded me of a short from the 2009 LA Film Fest. It involved two human sized Swedish yarn creations having lots of sex with a peeping bear. Seriously. Here’s the link to the full short film from the filmmakers website. Enjoy!
Click on the image to go to the filmmaker’s web site and watch the film. It sounds a little like someone reading the Ikea catalog, but you’re sure to get a bjoner!
Might make you think twice about letting a dentist put their hands in your mouth.
And on a related note, this. – HK
I turned my sister on to Regretsy. She fell in love with the fish in a squirrel suit, and was disappointed she couldn’t afford it. However, a friend of hers made her the next best thing. Here she is with an “imitation” fish in a squirrel suit. It was made from a stuffed animal, a scanned photo of the fish head, and hand painted with blood spots. Fan art at its best. Enjoy.
Thank you for the awesome cat toys you gave away at the Urban Craft Center. I’ve attached a photo of my sweet baby Patsy, chowing down on your face.
Personalized cat toys courtesy of Oh Boy Cat Toy. – HK
I couldn’t resist making an attempt at the Steve Jobs as Jesus Alchemy Request. I was debating having the angels with iPods, but my husband said “Jesus should be the only one with an iPod, and he will bestow them upon them as he sees fit.” I thought this was an excellent point.
I put a bid in on this Alchemy Request, but I never heard back from him after I sent this sketch.
Click thumbnail for full-size image – HK