From: A huge fan until you post bottle trees
Subject: Bottle Tree
Date: January 29, 2011 10:28:18 PM PST
I am a huge fan of your site, but I was disappointed by your decision to showcase a bottle tree on Regretsy. Bottle trees aren’t a way to showcase that you are a drunk, they are a tradition with roots in Africa. Granted, the bottle tree you featured was sloppily constructed. But bottle trees, as a whole, are unique folk art and a rich Delta tradition. I hate to see them disparaged.
***
Dear Huge Fan Except For The Bottle Tree Thing,
To be fair, I didn’t disparage bottle trees as a whole. I disparaged the one you called “sloppily constructed”, which is a fine way to talk about a rich Delta tradition.
If I wasn’t so drunk I’d pick up the empty bottles in my front yard in protest.
HK
From: Some jag off named Quentin
Subject: Letter from a half a year reader.
Date: January 29, 2011 1:05:50 PM PST
I wanted to say thanks for the laughs before I unsubscribed from you. I found your site a while ago and I had fun, you are very funny. However, it didn’t make me feel like the better person that I want to be. It seems like recently you’ve been a little less vicious, which is good, but still, getting entertainment-by-negative-example just feels wrong to me. Your website’s size makes it easier to see its influence. You’re kind of a super villain. It’s funny that I’m telling you that, because I plan to get into super-villainy myself (keep an eye out for a young bald man with homemade battle armor.) Just keep in mind that you can always change the direction of your work.
P.S. You’re spreading fear and hostility throughout the crafting world and I think it’s hampering the human condition.
***
Dear Quentin,
I’m sorry you liked the site better when I was meaner, and like it less now that I’m nicer. I can see where that would be conflicting to someone who wants to be a better person while pursuing a life of super villainy.
I admit, I do provide entertainment by saying what other people are thinking, and doing so without apology. But I don’t think being honest or even being negative is harming the human condition.
I think what’s really hurting us is the glut of false hope being peddled by pussies like you, who keep telling those with no artistic vision or ability that if they keep at it, they’ll be able to feed their families by gluing shit to other shit. Frankly, I hate people who think it’s kinder to lie, and to reinforce the weaknesses of others instead of helping them find their strengths. Your cowardice cruelly coaxes the talentless to keep producing, and their excrement chokes out the real artisans on Etsy, who can no longer be seen beyond the pages of hack work you’ve encouraged. The only one who gains is Etsy, scooping up listing fees for horribly misguided work that will never sell, and using it to commission giant owls for the cafeteria.
HK
From: A woman who insists there are no sweatshops or child labor in Malaysia
Subject: Etsy or Anthropologie? Malaysian child labor joke
Date: January 29, 2011 3:32:23 PM PST
Dear Ms. Helen,
By replying to me with a YouTube video about forced labor practices in Malaysia, you seem to be trying to prove that Malaysia does practice child labor & therefore I am wrong to be offended by your statement since what you said is “true”.
That video does nothing to prove that Malaysia condones child labor. The Nike sweatshop issue that was covered in the video highlights the plight of forced foreign laborers living in appalling conditions. It is regrettable that such a horrible thing happened – but these are not Malaysians. These unfortunate men are foreign laborers coming from Vietnam & Bangladesh.
I have never encountered reports of children being exploited in Malaysia. While it is true that there are children working in the agricultural field, more often than not, these children are from poorer rural areas & are just helping their family tend to the paddy fields/rubber estates/palm tree estates that their family own. Very much like how people in the US have farms.
It would be nice if you could edit the article as I do not think that the humor & wit of the article would be diminished if you just took out the line about child laborers in Malaysia.
***
I stand corrected!
Please confirm I am understanding you properly, so I can make accurate corrections to the post.
1. People are forced into horrific working conditions in Malaysia, but they’re like, Vietnamese or something
2. Poor children in Malaysia labor in the fields, but only because they like to help
3. That Nike thing is so 2000 and late
Thanks for keeping me honest!
- HK
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