Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones I made up. I have been cackling all morning at your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve been using to make your decisions.

Let’s start, shall we?

YOUR GUESSES:

“The lipstick stencil is either a fake or a reseller ripoff.”

“I’m going to guess that because it has actual practical use, the lipstick stencil is the fake.”

“I am guessing the Lipstick Stencil Guide is the fake. By the way, I have an average sized penis.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

YOUR GUESSES:

“The rainwater is the Regretsy because the spelling and punctuation was the closest to proper English.”

“The rainwater is the most obvious choice because it’s just too ridiculous to see on Etsy.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

YOUR GUESSES:

“Gonna say the Eggshells are real because they show serious misunderstanding about how the internet and the postal service work.”

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE IF YOU CAN’T SPELL ‘AU LAIT’ AT LEAST DO A SEARCH AND LET GOOGLE CORRECT IT FOR YOU, YOU MOUTHBREATHING SIMPLETON.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

YOUR GUESSES:

“I’m guessing the Regretsy is the matchstick brooch, just because it’s the only one without a misspelling.”

“If it is fake, it won’t be for long. I have a box of matches in the house, and a camera.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

UPDATE: THE SELLER TOOK IT PRETTY WELL

YOUR GUESSES:

“Clearly the I love dildo T-shirt is fake. If it was a real Etsy listing, there would be dirty hippie vagina somewhere in the picture.”

"I think the dildo shirt is Etsy, and I bet it sells surprisingly well."

AND THE ANSWER IS…

YOUR GUESSES:

“The cross stitch pattern is spelled too well to be a real Etsy listing.”

“I think the crucifix might be Regretsy, but only because I refuse to believe that someone on the internet is that stupid.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

Thanks for playing!

Perhaps the most frequently asked question at Regretsy is this:

Is this shit really for sale?

Sadly, the answer is yes. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last 2 years, it’s that People will sell anything (primarily because people will buy anything).

So here’s new game for you:

At least one of these is a real listing on Etsy. At least one is fake.

Which is the Etsy and which is the Regretsy?

Leave your guesses in the comments.

In this post yesterday, I shared an unusual request from a reader:

“One of my closest friends has a deep hatred of Axl Rose. His disdain is so profound, that when he hears a Guns ‘n Roses song, he envisions Axl Rose being attacked by Kriss Kross, when they were adolescent hip hoppers. He says he pictures this going on Celebrity Deathmatch style.”

“I’ve been struggling with what to get him for his 40th birthday next month, and I think this may be the answer. So I am asking Regretsy to help me find a talented artist who can make this Axl Rose debasement fantasy a reality.”

Well, you came through in a big way, as you always do. Your responses were brilliant, disturbing, and brilliantly disturbing. It was very difficult to pick a winner, because as you all know, there are no winners on Regretsy.

However, we did choose the entry we liked best, and we’ll be putting it on a doormat and selling it without permisison.

No, I kid. I kid because I love.

The winning artist will receive this:

A gift bag from the recent Los Angeles Regretsy meet-up!

Here’s what’s inside:

• Bags courtesy of Robot in Bloom
• Soap by Bubbly Creations
• Cards by Snow Girl Sun Girl on Etsy
• ACEOs and jewelry by Solo Cosmo on Etsy
• Bridal bags Angelia Christine on Etsy
• Eyeshadow sample from Unique Pigments
• Hairclips by Make it Sew Louisville
• Earrings and coupon by slipstreamblue
• Envelopes by grimmlyn
• Butthurt postcard by Risarocksit
• Con pin by KatScratchDesigns
• Goatse sticker by lovesickrobot
• Potty stickers by Cybele
• Cat cards by snowgirlsungirl
• CD’s by Voxwoman
• Cocksuckers by HomoSaysWhat
• Soap by luxsoap
• Notecards by 9minutes
• Keychains by azuraluna
• Magnets by Bad Day Enterprises
• CD’s by knitibranch
• Towel Mike postcard by Adrienne Jimenez
• Cool stickers that arrived too late for us to use, but still deserve mention, by 88kitty

I KNOW RIGHT

And now…

YOUR RUNNERS-UP

- Click on the thumbnails for a larger image and to leave a comment

THE WINNER

The brilliant Donna The Dead, for creating this amazing octopi necklace and modeling it on her killer rack.

Thanks to everyone for your unpleasant artwork!

From: Jenna
Subject: Wanted: birthday fuckery
Date: January 23, 2012 3:02:24 AM PST

-Jenna

***

You may remember that we played this game last October, resulting in some fantastic drawings of dolphins raping bears while aliens looked on. It was a real high point for us, artistically speaking.

So let’s do this again.

Please post your work in the comments. The artist chosen for the job will get a fantastic prize package, which includes one of the awesome gift bags from Saturday’s Regretsy meet-up!

I’ll post my favorites tomorrow. Runners up will get fabulous prizes, so everyone wins, except the guy turning 40.

- Click thumbs for larger images