Here’s how this works:
At least one of these things is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these things was completely invented by us.
The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?
Our answers and your best guesses will be posted in a few hours.
This is an especially tough one today, so NO CHEATING.
Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones we made up. We have thoroughly enjoyed your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve been using to make your decisions.
Here are your best guesses, and the correct answers.
1. YELLOW BAUHAUS PAINTING
YOUR GUESSES:
“If this is Etsy, I’m going to have to start framing office supplies.”
“I’m adding ‘variation in appearance on-screen is unavoidable’ to my Match.com profile.”
“Bauhaus is spelled correctly, so… Regretsy.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
2. STILL LIFE WITH COFFEE CUP
YOUR GUESSES:
“Oh, a PICTURE of a cup! Etsy.”
“Regretsy. If it were Etsy, there’d be a comment on the small coffee stain, perhaps signifying man’s intrusion into the pureness of being and the nothingness of white.”
“The mug must be fake because it isn’t dirty enough.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
3. BABY BATTER PLACENTA SALVE
YOUR GUESSES:
“Only on Etsy does smearing someone’s bodily offal on your elbows keep them pure. If that one’s a fake, I lose my faith in everything.”
“Regretsy. Real placenta and good vibes should cost more than $20.”
“For the love of fuck please tell me the placenta cream is a joke.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
4. CRADLE, A SCULPTURAL ASSEMBLAGE
YOUR GUESSES:
“Etsy, or Helen needs a vacation.”
“I don’t believe the stick bag chickenwire thing is real. Nobody gets that high anymore.”
“The Cradle sculpture is fake because there aren’t enough fake Pagan words in the description.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
5. NATIVE AMERICAN BLADDER INFECTION REMEDY
YOUR GUESSES:
“Does that title say they’re selling the actual infection along with the herbal tea?! It just seems like you tried too hard on that one, Regretsy.”
“Everything is so perfectly wrong and Etsy about it that it can’t be real.”
“Someone saw Pocahontas as a kid, bought a dreamcatcher and never looked back.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
Thanks for playing!
Here’s how this works:
At least one of these things is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these things was completely invented by us.
The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?
Our answers and your best guesses will be posted in a few hours.
NO CHEATING
Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones we made up. We have thoroughly enjoyed your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve been using to make your decisions.
We are especially proud of our efforts this time, and we think his was the hardest one yet.
CUSTOM PET PORTRAIT
YOUR GUESSES:
“If this turns out to be real, I think I’ll drive hot knives into my eyeballs.”
“Regretsy, because it’s too creative to be an Etsy Photoshop.”
“I already have my money out if that pet portrait is real.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
FOUND OBJECT SCULPTURE
YOUR GUESSES:
“The lighting and the barnwood are too good to be Regretsy.”
“It’s stupid enough to actually make the Front Page, but I find ‘poet lariat’ too brilliant to be a mere accident.”
“Regretsy. If it were Etsy, the poet lariat would be Mary Angelo.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
GOOGLY EYED LIGHTER
YOUR GUESSES:
“This was Photoshopped, because the black disks should be hanging in the same direction.”
“I don’t care if it’s real or not, that lighter is awesome.”
“I think the lighter is real and the rest are prescription-drug-fueled satirical masterpieces.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
WHITNEY HOUSTON COMMEMORATIVE
YOUR GUESSES:
“Etsy. I tried to convince myself Helen made it while high on cough syrup, but couldn’t.”
“I think the Whitney Houston is Etsy, because if HK made it she would at least put the photo on straight for God’s sake.”
“Could go either way. I hope that Helen actually made this though, and plans to make it a door prize at Petja-Palooza.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
HUMAN HAIR TRIVET
YOUR GUESSES:
“The hair trivet has got to be Regretsy, because if it were on Etsy, you know it would be from a single pubic dread.”
“That dreadlock trivet makes me want to vomit. That’s how you know it’s Etsy.”
“The hair trivet HAS to be real. There is NO WAY Helen touched that dread for us.”
AND THE ANSWER IS…
Thanks for playing!
