TURKEY SKANTS GUY by Gayle

“I carved the lettering backward to make the shadow words. Plotting those backwards words gave me a headache, so I hope you fucking people are happy.”

GUMBALL CLOWN by Lacey and Cathy

“Guess how many candies are in the jar! If you guessed less than a fuckton, you are wrong. Convo us for a free bag of this crappy candy.”

IN UTERO by Suzanne

“Hopefully my pumpkin answers the eternal question – how is babby formed?”

GARY COLEMAN by Paul

WINE-FUELED HALLOWEEN TOWER OF HELL by Trai

Trai went the extra mile by making a video tour of this pile of craft.

WHITE PUMPKIN FROM KOREA by Victoria

Added points for the horrific headline on the newspaper.

I TRIED TO DRAW CARLTON FROM FRESH PRINCE BUT I CUT TOO FUCKING DEEP by Jim

“My pumpkin is an expression of light and a celebration of life. And herpes.”

NEVER ALONE by GEEKTASTIC WHIMSY

ZOEY’S DINNER PARTY by Nichole

“Here is my 5 year old daughter’s dinner party. Guests include: pumpkin head Barbie, my pet dead octopus, Mr. T head bank (wearing a handmade top hat on a head band, by me) and of course, my daughter Zoey with her bear, “Lupus” (she watches a lot of “House”). The tray on the table consists of twenty 2 year old body part Gummies that have been lovingly splattered with a mix of red acrylic paint and Mod Podge.

I realize this is a pumpkin CARVING contest, but carving a pumpkin is completely traumatizing to my daughter.”

HELLO by Megan

“This is my Lionel Richie pumpkin. I added bling and some lace to make it look like a realistic ‘fro.”

Congratulations, runners up! Send me your shipping address and I’ll send you a prize!

Well as I expected, there were way, way too many amazing entries into the pumpkin contest, and it was very stressful trying to make a decision. In fact, I was up half the night, worrying about it.*

*Watching Judge Judy on Tivo

I finally decided on five main winners (including one tie), and one Grand Prize winner. I also decided on ten honorable mentions, who each get the now infamous Regretsy Thugs T-shirt by Snuff Box.

I also put the best 60 or so entries up on Flickr, and I’ll make that set public after all the winners are posted.

I’ll be resizing and cursing for a while, so check back a little later.

Well, here it is, our second Halloween together, and last year we didn’t do anything special. Well I mean we got drunk and turned out all the lights so the kids would think we weren’t home, but we do that every year.

No, what I mean is, we didn’t carve any pumpkins. And that doesn’t make any sense, because we have the most creative and talented readership on the internet, as far as I’m concerned. And if you doubt that, well then I guess you must have forgotten this.

In any case, we’re having a pumpkin carving contest this year, God damn it, and we’re going to have prizes and everything. Oh it may not be as festive as a Halloween party at Etsy, but you don’t have to wear a fascinator made out of a dead squirrel and a pocket watch. Well, unless you really want to.

RULES:

No Goatse pumpkins
No Rear Gear
No genitalia*

* Pumpkins do not have to be G rated. But Just making penises and vaginas is way too easy for you people, and we want to make this challenging.

All media are accepted. You may use anything at all to create your design, but you must incorporate an actual, edible pumpkin.

Photos of your pumpkins must be submitted by midnight PDT Thursday, October 28. Winners will be posted on Friday.

PRIZES:

If this contest is anything like the others, you will come up with a pantload of fabulous entries and I will be unable to decide on just a few winners. So I’m leaving it open as to how many pumpkins may win prizes.

However, there will be one Grand Prize winner, and they will receive the following:

- An autographed copy of the Regretsy book
- An embroidered panty liner bookmark by Hi Bird
- This balaclava
- A specially made Goatse inspired necklace by Priscilla’s Jewelry
- An original Denny Pinkham “Say What” painting
- A selection of 1970′s romance novels
- a handmade Huggies wipes dispenser using Regrets Dingleberry fabric, suitable for using in upscale restaurant bathrooms
- This Snark pillow by Creeplings
- A special Regretsy cat toy by Oh Boy Cat Toy
- A Boobicorn print by Kit Cameo
- And everything else in this box

Send your photos here

Good luck!

By now you may know that we had a completely insane hat making contest over the weekend. We had over 200 entries, and it was extremely difficult to choose the winners.

At some point during all of this, I noticed a comment posted on Facebook asking to see all the hats. It was a fantastic idea, but I had already started deleting emails at that point, so I lost quite a few.

However I did manage to salvage about half of them, and I have put them up on a special Flickr set for your viewing pleasure. If you submitted a hat and it is not in this set, please send it to me again and I’ll add it.

Thanks again to everyone who played along! Your fabulous prizes should be going out this week!

- Click here to see the full set on Flickr