Oh, this is fantastic. Really, I was getting so tired of pants with crotches in them. Sure, it gets a little drafty, but at least you can do upskirt videos in the winter.

UPDATE: This post appeared on Regretsy in January of 2010. It was so popular, it spawned one of our first contests.

First prize was exceedingly valuable:

Embroidered Regretsy toilet paper, from the creator of the world famous Lady Caca

Truthfully, we thought maybe a couple of you would be bored enough to do this. But we received hundreds and hundreds of entries, which was simultaneously thrilling and depressing. Kind of like the last three years.

Here then, are the the best of your entries.

Honorable Mentions:

Runners-Up:

Your 4th Place Entries

WINNERS*

*Although technically, there are no winners on Regretsy

Note: Thanksgiving Skants man was so popular, he inspired this Zazzle merchandise. The meta got even meatier when we sent him a Skants Man sweatshirt, which he modeled on his legs, upside down.

This is now widely regarded by scholars as the apex of post-modern meta meme recursive clusterfuckery.

Thanks for playing!

Earlier today I asked you to tell me which of the following items are real listings on Etsy, and which ones we made up. As always, we have thoroughly enjoyed your guesses, and the tortured logic you’ve used to make your decisions.

Here are your best guesses, and the correct answers.

1. REPURPOSED UPCYCLED RECYCLED BIRD FEEDER

YOUR GUESSES:

“Regretsy. Etsy sellers are too cheap to include bird seed with an overpriced dustpan.”

“‘Regretsy. The barn wood just puts this one over the edge for me. It has to be fake.”

“If the Coffeemate bird feeder is Etsy, I lose my faith in humanity.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…


2. JEMIMA BUTTERWORTH MAMMY DOLL

YOUR GUESSES:

“If that Jemima one is real, I will dump out the sand and fill it with my tears.”

“Regretsy because it’s only $12, If it was Etsy, it would be at least $24.”

“I think, no matter what, worlds will be shattered on this day.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…


3. RECYCLED PLASTIC COFFEE-MATE HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER

YOUR GUESSES:

“I’m pretty sure the hummingbird feeder is what happened after Helen got drunk watching Craft Wars on TLC.”

“That’s actually too shitty for HK to have dreamed up.”

“I’m torn on the coffemate hummingbird feeder. That’s easily up to Etsy standards.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…


4. WORDS ON PAPER (ART)

YOUR GUESSES:

“Regretsy. The photography is too good.”

“Etsy. This is stupid shit some hipster asshole scribbled in ‘Contemporary Native Poetry’ class, and thought was brilliant.”

“I can’t even respond. I’m suddenly feeling suicidal.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…


5. COOL VINTAGE INDUSTRIAL BLENDER BASE

YOUR GUESSES:

“Mint Condition but Nonworking. Etsy”

“Etsy, home of filling shit with more shit and selling it for $45.”

“Etsy. Even if you guys made this up, I’m sure someone is selling it.”

AND THE ANSWER IS…

Thanks for playing!

It’s time to play…

Here’s how this works:

At least one of these is a real listing on Etsy. At least one of these was completely invented by us.

The question is, which is the Etsy, and which is the Regretsy?

Make your best guesses in the comments, but don’t cheat (if you do cheat, don’t post spoilers).

Answers will be posted in a few hours.

- Play more Etsy or Regretsy
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
and here

Get your blanks here: Front view, side view

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO