I swear to God, ever since Martha Stewart did her Dead-Baby-in-a-Dry-Cleaning-Bag diaper cake, everyone’s doing them. It’s such a cliche at this point. “Pregnant? Here’s dead baby in a bag!” *YAWN*

Just once I’d like to see someone do a Baby-Drowned-in-a-Bucket diaper cake. Now that would be adorable. Especially if the dad works in construction.

A while ago, I told you that I wanted to organize a pretty ambitious gift drive for any kids in the Regretsy community who might not get much otherwise. I know there are a lot of you just scraping by right now, and while that’s hard on everyone, it’s really tough to watch kids do without at a time when they should be looking forward to a little extra. So we set out to help about 100 of your children, and began taking applications several weeks ago.

The response was a little overwhelming. Your stories were truly heartbreaking, and we realized we would have to do more. So we doubled our list to 200 children, and now we’re ready to start playing Santa.

Here are a few of the kids in the Regretsy community that we’ll be assisting this year. These photos and stories were made available to us by the parents, and we are sharing them with permission.

This year, my father died after a battle with cancer. He and my little boy were very, very close. My son’s father pays little or nothing in child support, and ended up with everything in the divorce. We had to move in with my mother who has Alzheimers, because she cannot live alone. I know there are many children in need, and I’ve had to tell my son that there won’t be anything for Christmas this year except a few pairs of jeans he needs.

I was torn about submitting my children. I can’t afford to get them much as my husband is suffering through cancer (his doctor thinks he’s down to about 2 months, if his chemo goes well so at least we will have him here for the holidays).

His name is Rory, and he received a life-saving kidney transplant this past February, after three years on dialysis. In June, the nephrologists went back in and removed his two native kidneys, which ended up being a bigger surgery than the transplant. He has had a miserable year, full of pain and hospitals. Meanwhile, his dad and I have been struggling with INSANE medical bills – these two surgeries were not cheap, nor were they his only hospitalizations this year. Things have been really, really tight and if the Regretsy community wanted to adopt Rory, it would make our holiday.

My granddaughter is going to be 1 next week, and she is also very ill. Her liver is declining and she is likely to need a liver/intestine transplant. She’s not likely to survive (30-40% for surgery and 50% at the 5 year mark). I just want to give her a good Christmas.

I’ve started this email several times but haven’t had the nerve to send it. Heck, I may not send this one either. But we need help at Christmas. I don’t want anything for myself, I just want this first Christmas without their dad to not be interrupted. Every bit of help I can get is more than appreciated since I literally cannot do anything for them.

For Easter, we got them a wagon. They loved it (you can see in the pictures). It wasn’t an expensive wagon, just a cheap plastic one, but it was what we could afford. We have room to store it outside, but no way to lock it up. Well, less than a week later, some of the bigger kids in the neighborhood just broke the crap out of it. It was destroyed. The kids were in tears. We hoped they’d forget about it after a while, but they haven’t. They’ve been asking for another wagon for Christmas. We’d like to get them one, but we just can’t afford it.

I always to do something good at Christmas by harnessing the power of you fat bastards, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is the right thing to do this year.

But it’s a big job, and there was no way I could get something on this scale going by myself, especially with the book and the shipping and being out of town for 10 days. But thanks to the dedicated efforts Grimmlyn (our moderator in the Regretsy forums), we are finally ready to start this thing up.

Here’s what the families will get:

• A new toy or other gift that is as close to the child’s request as we can get. The toy will arrive unwrapped, so the family can have the pleasure of wrapping gifts, which is the best part.

• An extra gift from the Regretsy charity fund: Each child will get a personalized letter from Santa.

This drive will also provide paying administrative work for a few very deserving Etsy sellers in need, thereby assisting them in making a brighter holiday for their own families.

Here’s what we’re asking from you:

Because of the volume of purchases, we believe we can fill these Christmas wishes for less than $20 a child.

So we have about 1 week to raise $4,000. I have no doubt we will do that.

There are many, many people who read this site, and a very small gift from each of you would put this over the top in a very short time.

I really want this to work, because I believe it could be the blueprint for other, more ambitious programs we can implement for this community. Us assholes have to stick together.

Please consider making a gift to this worthwhile effort, and let’s start making Christmas special for some kids who could really use a break.

UPDATE: LOOK WHAT YOU ASSHOLES JUST DID

Let me tell you something; I loved The Wire. I don’t think it’s ever too early to start getting your kids interested in this show, and a bib is just the start.

Here are some more ideas for The Wire for baby:

I’ve never wanted a baby more than I do right now, so I could name him “Marlo,” and drink through my pregnancy. I’d have miniature nailguns hanging from a mobile, and dollhouse furniture from the Lester Freamon Collection. And when daddy got home from slingin’, we’d sit down in our boarded-up apartment, and teach our son how to dissolve a body with lye.

CURSE THIS BARREN WOMB

It’s cool. I bought this instead.