This post first appeared on Regretsy in July of 2011

This post first appeared on Regretsy in July of 2011

God, I hate these things.

I’m not saying they aren’t well done. Clearly, a lot of skill goes into rolling up diapers and arranging them so they look like cake. I think my point is more WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.

If you can get past the part where diapers are arranged to look like something you want to eat (and good luck with that), you still have to come to terms with the fact that you just spent $50 plus shipping on a pile of tainted Pampers.

You don’t know who glued these together. You don’t know if they have some kind of flesh eating bacteria or a house full of cats with eye infections. Then you unpack this tower of filth and take it to a baby shower, where more people you don’t know have to poke at it to see how it’s made BECAUSE IT’S SO DARLING AND MAYBE I COULD MAKE ONE and by the time you actually rip it apart to put a diaper on your child, it’s been touched by roughly 400 people. Why don’t you just wipe his ass with money?

And while we’re on the subject, what the hell are these?

Oh look, a diaper rolled in cellophane to look like taffy. Isn’t that great? I can’t think of anything less useful, except maybe a dead bird in a tin can.

AT LEAST HAVE RIBS AT YOUR SHOWER SO I CAN USE IT AS A BIB

I hear Rick Santorum is giving this to his wife on Mother’s Day.

UPDATE:

Super FUNNY