(Ed. note – Everyone here has the flu, so you’ll be getting flashbacks for the next couple days)

I swear to God, ever since Martha Stewart did her Dead-Baby-in-a-Dry-Cleaning-Bag diaper cake, everyone’s doing them. It’s such a cliche at this point. “Pregnant? Here’s a dead baby in a bag!” *YAWN*

Just once I’d like to see someone do a Baby-Drowned-in-a-Bucket diaper cake. Now that would be adorable. Especially if the dad works in construction.

“Hey Jimmy, you want to come over and check out my new X Box?”

“No thanks. I’m going over to Cody’s yurt to play with his lichen.”

A few days ago, I announced the 2nd Annual Regretsy Secret Santa program. For the second year in a row, we’re raising money to make the holidays brighter for 200 needy kids in the Regretsy community.

So many people are struggling right now, and while that’s hard on everyone, it’s really tough to watch kids do without at a time when they should be looking forward to a little extra. So we really want to thank those of you who have donated to this drive. And we’re especially grateful to the people who received gifts last year, and are doing well enough this year to give back.

Here are a few of the kids in the Regretsy community that we’ll be helping this year. These photos and stories were provided by friends and families, and we are sharing them with permission.

My son has a rare genetic defect in his lungs and has spent a lot of time in the hospital and we had an emergency move that really threw us in chaos last year. We really appreciate Regretsy’s generosity. Attached is a photo from his last PICU visit when his sister was able to come visit him.

I’m a single mom and a disabled vet. I live on a fixed income that allows little to no wiggle room for birthdays and holidays. My daughter deserves so much more than I have ever been able to give her, and having something from people who care would really show her the true spirit of the holiday.

My sister is a pre-school teacher in Chicago, and because of the strike she didn’t get paid for almost three weeks. My sister and her boyfriend have been going hungry to ensure my five-month-old niece gets what she needs.

I am nominating my six-year-old son. He just spent 3 weeks on bedrest after his 14th surgery, and he has another coming in a few months. He is an amazing, funny, friendly child who was dealt a rough hand. Between his disability and the death of his father (who was a soldier in Afganistan) last year, he could use a wonderful surprise. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I’m nominating my severely disabled 32-year-old brother. He is mentally about 2-3 years old and still looks forward to Santa coming every year. Usually we would have no trouble helping buy gifts for my brothers, but this year every extra penny is going towards helping my mom keep her house. He would love some socks, or preschool-aged toys like stacking cups or sorting blocks. Thanks for your consideration!

Here’s what the families will get:

• A new toy or other gift that is as close to the child’s request as we can get
• Each child will get a personalized letter from Santa
• If we exceed our fundraising goal, we will increase the gift-buying budget for each child, and try to make gifts to the families as well

This drive will also provide paying administrative work for a few very deserving Etsy sellers in need, thereby assisting them in making a brighter holiday for their own families.

But we’re not there yet!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE

In order for toys to be purchased and delivered by Christmas, Fundraising must end Monday, December 10.

If you would like to donate, click here to visit our WePay donation page. You can give as little as $1, and it will all add up and make this a reality for 200 children.

FAT JEALOUS LOSERS, ACTIVATE

UPDATE: We are now overfunded, thanks to your generosity and kindness. We’re increasing the gift buying budget per child, and hope to also make a gift to each family for their holiday celebrations.

Last year, I asked you to help me raise enough money to buy gifts for 100 needy kids in the Regretsy community. You responded with such enthusiasm that we were able to help 200 kids. We bought gifts for every child, shipped them on time and got a cash gift to each family in time for Christmas.

And when I say “we,” I of course mean other people, as I was drinking myself to death in Helsinki. And we all know there are no Toys ‘R Us stores in Finland, only distilleries.

Yes, two women made Regretsy’s Secret Santa happen last year: Angelina, from Santa Mail Express, and our own forum moderator, Jeni. They did it all. And the good news is, they want to do it again.

The bad news is, we got a late start this year because one of us was off dicking around with puppets, and I’m not even going to name names. There’s no point. She knows who she is.

We want to help 200 children in need of a little holiday spirit. We want to send handpicked gifts, as well as a personalized letter from Santa. But we’ve only got a week to make this happen if we want to get the gifts out in time. We need to raise as much as we can by December 10th.

IF YOU WANT TO DONATE

We won’t be using PayPal this year, which will probably surprise you, seeing how great they were last Christmas. Instead, we’re using our WePay store, which you can find here. You can donate any amount you like, and you’ll be making the holidays brighter for a child who probably wouldn’t get much otherwise.

IF YOU WANT TO SUBMIT A CHILD FOR THE SECRET SANTA PROGRAM

If you know a child in need this Christmas, submit them to forums@regretsy.com with the subject line REGRETSY SANTA SUBMISSION, and be sure to include the following information:

• Parent’s name
• Child’s name
• Child’s age
• Gifts Child would like

If more than one child is in the household, please be sure to submit this information for each child. We may not be able to find the exact gift your child would like, so be sure to include other interests that might help us in selecting gifts, such as hobbies or favorite cartoons.

ALL SUBMISSIONS MUST BE RECEIVED BY DECEMBER 7th.

We will contact you on December 11th if we are able to make your Christmas wish come true.

Everyone else, go fund the hell out of Christmas morning for kids in need.

FAT, JEALOUS LOSER POWERS ACTIVATE!