Last year, I asked you to help me raise enough money to buy gifts for 100 needy kids in the Regretsy community. You responded with such enthusiasm that we were able to help 200 kids. We bought gifts for every child, shipped them on time and got a cash gift to each family in time for Christmas.

And when I say “we,” I of course mean other people, as I was drinking myself to death in Helsinki. And we all know there are no Toys ‘R Us stores in Finland, only distilleries.

Yes, two women made Regretsy’s Secret Santa happen last year: Angelina, from Santa Mail Express, and our own forum moderator, Jeni. They did it all. And the good news is, they want to do it again.

The bad news is, we got a late start this year because one of us was off dicking around with puppets, and I’m not even going to name names. There’s no point. She knows who she is.

We want to help 200 children in need of a little holiday spirit. We want to send handpicked gifts, as well as a personalized letter from Santa. But we’ve only got a week to make this happen if we want to get the gifts out in time. We need to raise as much as we can by December 10th.

IF YOU WANT TO DONATE

We won’t be using PayPal this year, which will probably surprise you, seeing how great they were last Christmas. Instead, we’re using our WePay store, which you can find here. You can donate any amount you like, and you’ll be making the holidays brighter for a child who probably wouldn’t get much otherwise.

IF YOU WANT TO SUBMIT A CHILD FOR THE SECRET SANTA PROGRAM

If you know a child in need this Christmas, submit them to forums@regretsy.com with the subject line REGRETSY SANTA SUBMISSION, and be sure to include the following information:

• Parent’s name
• Child’s name
• Child’s age
• Gifts Child would like

If more than one child is in the household, please be sure to submit this information for each child. We may not be able to find the exact gift your child would like, so be sure to include other interests that might help us in selecting gifts, such as hobbies or favorite cartoons.

ALL SUBMISSIONS MUST BE RECEIVED BY DECEMBER 7th.

We will contact you on December 11th if we are able to make your Christmas wish come true.

Everyone else, go fund the hell out of Christmas morning for kids in need.

FAT, JEALOUS LOSER POWERS ACTIVATE!

Looks like the turkey is almost done.