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Pornaments (NSFW)

- Hang your balls here

- More questionable ornaments here

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Secret Santa Update

A few days ago, I announced the 2nd Annual Regretsy Secret Santa program. For the second year in a row, we’re raising money to make the holidays brighter for 200 needy kids in the Regretsy community.

So many people are struggling right now, and while that’s hard on everyone, it’s really tough to watch kids do without at a time when they should be looking forward to a little extra. So we really want to thank those of you who have donated to this drive. And we’re especially grateful to the people who received gifts last year, and are doing well enough this year to give back.

Here are a few of the kids in the Regretsy community that we’ll be helping this year. These photos and stories were provided by friends and families, and we are sharing them with permission.

My son has a rare genetic defect in his lungs and has spent a lot of time in the hospital and we had an emergency move that really threw us in chaos last year. We really appreciate Regretsy’s generosity. Attached is a photo from his last PICU visit when his sister was able to come visit him.

I’m a single mom and a disabled vet. I live on a fixed income that allows little to no wiggle room for birthdays and holidays. My daughter deserves so much more than I have ever been able to give her, and having something from people who care would really show her the true spirit of the holiday.

My sister is a pre-school teacher in Chicago, and because of the strike she didn’t get paid for almost three weeks. My sister and her boyfriend have been going hungry to ensure my five-month-old niece gets what she needs.

I am nominating my six-year-old son. He just spent 3 weeks on bedrest after his 14th surgery, and he has another coming in a few months. He is an amazing, funny, friendly child who was dealt a rough hand. Between his disability and the death of his father (who was a soldier in Afganistan) last year, he could use a wonderful surprise. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I’m nominating my severely disabled 32-year-old brother. He is mentally about 2-3 years old and still looks forward to Santa coming every year. Usually we would have no trouble helping buy gifts for my brothers, but this year every extra penny is going towards helping my mom keep her house. He would love some socks, or preschool-aged toys like stacking cups or sorting blocks. Thanks for your consideration!

Here’s what the families will get:

• A new toy or other gift that is as close to the child’s request as we can get
• Each child will get a personalized letter from Santa
• If we exceed our fundraising goal, we will increase the gift-buying budget for each child, and try to make gifts to the families as well

This drive will also provide paying administrative work for a few very deserving Etsy sellers in need, thereby assisting them in making a brighter holiday for their own families.

But we’re not there yet!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE

In order for toys to be purchased and delivered by Christmas, Fundraising must end Monday, December 10.

If you would like to donate, click here to visit our WePay donation page. You can give as little as $1, and it will all add up and make this a reality for 200 children.

FAT JEALOUS LOSERS, ACTIVATE

UPDATE: We are now overfunded, thanks to your generosity and kindness. We’re increasing the gift buying budget per child, and hope to also make a gift to each family for their holiday celebrations.

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Deck the Smalls

BONUS:

WHY WON’T SANTA LEAVE ME ALONE

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Jesus, The Quicker Picker Upper

And when Christmas is over, you can use it to remove your nail polish.