This post first appeared on Regretsy in December of 2011.
You know, I haven’t been able to find the Neiman Marcus version of this thing, but really, who needs it? If I want busted vintage jewelry hot-glued on a styrofoam cylinder this Christmas, I’m buying handmade! And you know why?
Because only an Etsy crafter puts a piece of themselves in everything they make.
It’s like The Gift of the Magi, isn’t it? He sells his watch to buy her a comb, and she glues her hair into a shitty junk tower to pay her listing fees.
GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE
This post first appeared on Regretsy in December of 2011.
- This post first appeared on Regretsy December 21, 2009
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from on high
The flapping and slapping of of fish from the sky.
As I drew in my head, and was turning about,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a trout.
He was dressed all in scales, from his head to his foot,
And his turtle was covered with ashes and soot.
A bundle of scrod he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Seu George, only not quite as black.
His eyes were drawn on with a ball point in blue,
And his beard was a cotton ball covered in glue.
He stood on a glittering Christmas tree shell
And the whole fucking thing was confusing as hell.
But then I woke up in a shivering sweat
With my hair and my clothes and my sheets soaking wet
And I thought to myself as I cradled my head,
I should never eat clams before going to bed.
