Regretsy » Holidays http://www.regretsy.com Where DIY Meets WTF Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:20:24 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Etsy Rocks http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/09/etsy-rocks/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/09/etsy-rocks/#comments Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:30:00 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=62940

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/09/etsy-rocks/feed/ 91 SPANDY http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/06/spandy/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/06/spandy/#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:30:16 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=62611 Last week, I featured some unusual Valentine suggestions from Fiverr.com. One of my favorite finds was Spandy Andy, who likes to “keep it tight and bright.”

Well, apparently he’s your favorite too. In fact, he got so much love from the Regretsy community that he sent a Valentine of his own right back to you.

AND SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/06/spandy/feed/ 220 Dude, you got any E? http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/01/dude-you-got-any-e/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/01/dude-you-got-any-e/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:36:32 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=62093

You know, if these two would just go into business with each other, EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/01/dude-you-got-any-e/feed/ 102 Six Degrees of Defecation http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/31/six-degrees-of-defecation/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/31/six-degrees-of-defecation/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:06:51 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=62085

LET’S JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/31/six-degrees-of-defecation/feed/ 150 My Fiverr Valentine: Day 5 http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/27/my-fiverr-valentine-day-5/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/27/my-fiverr-valentine-day-5/#comments Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:30:30 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=61882 All this week, I’ve been showing you unusual Valentine gift suggestions from Fiverr, the place where shit gets real for $5.™

We started looking for love in all the wrong places with Spandy Andy, then moved into rapping, heavy sarcasm and a custom video Valentine. And they were all well worth the $5 investment, believe me.

But tonight?

Well, tonight is a religious experience.

- Get your own personal Jesus here

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/27/my-fiverr-valentine-day-5/feed/ 153 My Fiverr Valentine: Day 4 http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/26/my-fiverr-valentine-day-4/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/26/my-fiverr-valentine-day-4/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:58:12 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=61805 All this week, we’re showcasing Valentine gift suggestions from Fiverr.com, the place where people go to do incredibly stupid shit for $5.

Last night, we featured Old Bitty Grandma, who gave us a very Etsy Valentine, complete with cupcake and mustache on a stick.

Tonight, we’ve got a fantastic “Regretsy Loves You” video Valentine card, created for just $5 by lizzyl21.

FROM ME TO YOU, BITCHES

- Click here to get your own custom I Love You video card

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/26/my-fiverr-valentine-day-4/feed/ 55 My Fiverr Valentine: Day 3 http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/25/my-fiverr-valentine-day-3/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/25/my-fiverr-valentine-day-3/#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:34:46 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=61714 All this week, we’re showcasing Valentine gift suggestions from Fiverr.com, the place where people go to tell the world what they’re willing to do for $5.

Last night, we had Rapper Man droppin’ some fresh rhymes in the hizzy!*

* Like the kids say on their MySpaces

Tonight, we’ve got a special video from Old Bitty Grandma, who channels the cupcakes of Happytown to bring us a VERY ETSY VALENTINE.

Click here to get your own, bitter, hostile Valentine from Old Bitty Grandma!

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/25/my-fiverr-valentine-day-3/feed/ 167 My Fiverr Valentine: Day 2 http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/24/my-fiverr-valentine-day-2/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/24/my-fiverr-valentine-day-2/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:58:21 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=61572 All this week, we’ll be showcasing Valentine gift suggestions from Fiverr.com, the place where people go to tell the world what they’re willing to do for $5.

Last night, we showcased this custom Valentine dance by Spandy Andy, and later this week we’ll have a special video that is sure to offend everyone.

But tonight, we invite you to dig the dope rhymes of Rapper Man!

We are DIY meets WTF
That’s the best description, I guess
We just love people who really like Twilight
Edward Cullen, OMG, he’s my life!
Read all the posts, some are password protected
“CF4L” if I forgot to mention
Namaste, bitches, enjoy hell, devil
Crease and desist, there’s so much I gotta tell you
Ask me what Steampunk is, No question’s too dumb
Or write some butt hurt, but my feelings are too numb
Speaking of butts, let’s continue, follow me
To Jacqueline Stallone and her famous Rumpology
Jesus, does she even get business?
If I knew how, I would curse in Finnish
I think I’m getting sued now and time’s a wastin
I need to call my lawyers up, Koppian and Paystin

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/24/my-fiverr-valentine-day-2/feed/ 92 Happy New Year http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/01/happy-new-year-2/ http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/01/happy-new-year-2/#comments Mon, 02 Jan 2012 00:30:35 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=59889

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/01/happy-new-year-2/feed/ 93 לילה שמיני – צ’אנאקאה http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/27/8th-night2/ http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/27/8th-night2/#comments Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:04:12 +0000 Bronc Drywall http://www.regretsy.com/?p=56888
Click on the menorah for your 8th לילה שמיני present!

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/27/8th-night2/feed/ 0 Cha’nu’kah – 7th Night http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/26/cha%e2%80%99nu%e2%80%99kah-7th-night/ http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/26/cha%e2%80%99nu%e2%80%99kah-7th-night/#comments Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:00:32 +0000 Bronc Drywall http://www.regretsy.com/?p=56883
Click on the menorah for your 7th Cha’nu’kah present!

Eat something, would you??

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/26/cha%e2%80%99nu%e2%80%99kah-7th-night/feed/ 0 The Regretsy Christmas Special http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/flashback-the-regretsy-christmas-special/ http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/flashback-the-regretsy-christmas-special/#comments Mon, 26 Dec 2011 02:00:20 +0000 Bronc Drywall http://www.regretsy.com/?p=59796 One of our favorite pieces ever. We hope you like it!

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/flashback-the-regretsy-christmas-special/feed/ 74 Channukah – 6th Night http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/channukah-6th-night/ http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/channukah-6th-night/#comments Mon, 26 Dec 2011 01:00:55 +0000 Bronc Drywall http://www.regretsy.com/?p=56880
Click on the menorah for your 6th Channukah present!

How come you never call?

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/channukah-6th-night/feed/ 0 Holiday Mailbag http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/christmas-flashback-holiday-mailbag/ http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/christmas-flashback-holiday-mailbag/#comments Sun, 25 Dec 2011 23:00:26 +0000 Bronc Drywall http://www.regretsy.com/?p=59783 This post first appeared on Regretsy on December 23, 2010

From Liz:

Here’s a quick rough version of a new holiday cookie – the Human Gingerbread Centipede. Seasons greetings!

From Kathryn:

This year, I decided to try my hand at making gingerbread men. The mixing and baking went smoothly, but when it came to the decorating I ran into some trouble because I started drinking right after I snipped the end off of my icing tube.

From Megan:

Regretsy has inspired me to solve a problem I’ve had. My tree was all naked and sad on top, and now it’s … well it’s something. Thanks for the help!

From Libby:

I am an American working for a company in Japan, the land where Christmas is vaguely celebrated, but where whimsicle fuckery is practically a national pastime. I spotted these at my local discount store, Don Quijote, and I have to say, they did put me in the Regretsy Christmas spirit… of wanting to gouge my eyes out and hide in a corner softly sobbing to myself.

FOLLOW UP: Libby was kind enough to send me four of these, after I begged her repeatedly and threatened to cry. Here are my friends, Sam and Woody, who came over last night and got drunk, and thought I wouldn’t post this.

And speaking of masks…

From Andrea:

From Lacey:

From Gina:

From Dick:

Hey you worthless discusting looser asshole i’d liek to send you a bag of flaming dog shit for Christmas please give me your mailing address. Happy holidays.

And finally…

From Dani:

I’d like to take a moment to appreciate the glittering parade of fuckery over the past year. Thanks to you and cheap vodka, I haven’t killed myself despite the number of sagging schlongs, putty, pocked ass cheeks, and the regrets of life choices I face on a daily basis. I was so close to becoming a prostitute, why the fuck did I go back to art school?

Love,
Some Cunt Who’s Not Even Registered

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/christmas-flashback-holiday-mailbag/feed/ 49 Yule Tide http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/christmas-flashback-yule-tide/ http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/christmas-flashback-yule-tide/#comments Sun, 25 Dec 2011 21:00:09 +0000 Bronc Drywall http://www.regretsy.com/?p=59757 This post first appeared on Regretsy on December 23, 2009

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from on high
The flapping and slapping of of fish from the sky.
As I drew in my head, and was turning about,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a trout.

He was dressed all in scales, from his head to his foot,
And his turtle was covered with ashes and soot.
A bundle of scrod he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Seu George, only not quite as black.

His eyes were drawn on with a ball point in blue,
And his beard was a cotton ball covered in glue.
He stood on a glittering Christmas tree shell
And the whole fucking thing was confusing as hell.

But then I woke up in a shivering sweat
With my hair and my clothes and my sheets soaking wet
And I thought to myself as I cradled my head,
I should never eat clams before going to bed.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/25/christmas-flashback-yule-tide/feed/ 32