3/10/10 TOTAL: $587.60
Profits from Regretsy merchandise are used to hire Etsy artists to create handmade products for various charities, or to directly benefit Etsy sellers in need.
All revenue generated by Regretsy.com is donated to charitable works. See our Charity page for complete information.
Money raised to date for all projects: $1687.60
WIPE YOUR SCROTUS WITH THE POTUS
10. WHIMSY!
When you care enough to give someone an old jar full of shit you found. Don’t shake it too hard!
9. LE CRAPTIQUE
Sorry your gift smells like a goat’s ass. ______________________________________________
8. CRAPPY PATTIES
Yes, everyone loves Spongebob! Maybe you should try making one next time.______________________________________________
7. FALLING FOR YOU
Forced, witless irony never gets old. ____________________________________________________________
6. EXTREME SEXY AND GORGEOUS
For that stunny erotical feeling. __________________________________________
5. BEAVER 2000
Because there’s nothing more refreshing than washing yourself with the genitals of a dead teenager.
4. ULTRA-WRONG
I <3 ZYGOTES _____________________________________________________
3. HEART HANGER
“I remember long ago when we did not have a home with room for a real dungeon how frustrating it was to find a really nice, strong ‘hard’ anchor point for attaching playmates securely.”
2. ME ME ME
Totally worth the money if you’re into complete strangers with jacked-up teeth. _____________________________________________________________
AND THE NUMBER ONE REGRETTABLE VALENTINE IS . . .
1. WHO LOVES EWE BABY
Nothing gets a woman hotter than a lamb’s heart nailed to a board.
Filed in Holidays, Paper Goods
I think what this card is trying to say is that sometimes, love is like a metal thing. Or maybe like one of those old Daisy Wheels they used to use in printers. That’s the great thing about love; it’s different for everyone. It can be like a weird serving dish, or maybe you can put a candle on it.
Then again, love is a lot like a picture you tore out of a magazine for no apparent reason, other than you were bored under the dryer and thought you could decoupage it on something.
LOVE YOU!
If the marriage doesn’t work out, you can get a hostess job at Mykonos House of Hummus.
UPDATE: A fine View it in Room submitted by IscreamUscream
Filed in Holidays
I have so much love for my fellow man this morning. Don’t you? Don’t you just love the whole human race?
Me neither.
But let me tell you what I do have. I have some of the most God forsaken Esty shit bombs masquerading as Valentine’s gifts the world has ever seen. Just big piles of disappointments, all wrapped up in upcycled red ribbon.
All week long, I’ll be featuring Regretsy Valentine Gift Suggestions, sprinkled in with all the usual fuckery you’ve come to grow weary of.
Just look for the turd, and you’ll know you’re in the right place.
As soon as I saw this, I knew there would be 6 more weeks of shit.
