The reason this takes so long is because of the time and attention they put into the face. You want it fast or you want it good?

Yes, you’re going to be dead some day, and so will everyone who ever loved you. So why not start living like you’re dying right now? Go ahead, hook yourself up to an oxygen tank and wait for a kidney.

Nothing says, “Meet me at the glory hole” like a chihuahua leather daddy welcome sign. That shit is hot. I’m moist and alive just looking at it.

Two weeks? To paint “USA” on a rock?

Well, I guess those red, white and, blue paints are pretty exotic. That’s a special order right there. Then there’s the trip to Gnomes ‘N Things to pick out just the right rock, that could take a few days, depending on bus schedules. And then of course there’s washing the brush and letting it dry between colors. Wow. Two weeks must be a rush order.