people of walmartlamebookregretsy
Posted June 30, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Garden and Outdoor

This Secretary’s Day, why not show your appreciation by giving your secretary a cement paver? Research shows that most working women prefer badly painted lawn decorations over bonuses! Plus it’s fun to watch her try to carry a 40 pound paver down to her 2002 Kia Sorrento.

Posted May 21, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Garden and Outdoor

That’s a lot more than the crack. That’s the whole alimentary canal.

Also, WOOD AT THE ENTRANCE HOLE

Posted March 25, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Garbage, Garden and Outdoor

Wood, hemp, chunks of metal and a rusty spring. Boy, I bet that makes a beautiful sound. There’s nothing like laying in bed on a summer night, listening to a bunch of shit banging around in a tree. If I wanted to hear bottle caps and car keys all night, I’d sleep in the parking lot at Dodger Stadium.

Posted March 19, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Garden and Outdoor

For all the birds I’ve loved before.

Posted February 23, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Garden and Outdoor, View it in a Room

Posted January 23, 2010 by Helen Killer Filed in Don't Ask Me, Garden and Outdoor

Is this really a thing? Do people actually buy outfits for concrete lawn ornaments? How do you know which teams they like? Is this just for geese, or can I get a merkin for my gnome?

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