Don’t forget to wipe your feet!

Oh come on! Do people really think they have wood sprites in their kindling? It’s a branch, not the haunted forest of Mirkwood. I can’t believe anyone . . .

Wait a second.

OMFG

This Secretary’s Day, why not show your appreciation by giving your secretary a cement paver? Research shows that most working women prefer badly painted lawn decorations over bonuses! Plus it’s fun to watch her try to carry a 40 pound paver down to her 2002 Kia Sorrento.

That’s a lot more than the crack. That’s the whole alimentary canal.

Also, WOOD AT THE ENTRANCE HOLE