For a second I thought that was Joy Behar, which makes this everyone’s fantasy.

- More of your Freudian slips here

This year, tell her you’d marry her all over again with necrotizing fasciitis

UPDATE:

Super FUNNY

Laugh all you want, but do you have any idea how hard it is to find accessories for your milk jug?

I JUST WANT NICE JUGS IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK

- More from the catwalk here

Thanks to Winning at Everything for the tip

Oh, Jesus. This is so not hot. Really boner killing. The only way this could be less hot is if your dad was on the leash.

You know what else this isn’t? Steampunk. And also not goth. I don’t even think this is a fetish, unless there’s a whole subculture of people who like corsets with peplums.

So I put it to you…

UPDATE: Already getting some fantastic answers in the poll:

I saw these on The Real Housewives of Thessaloniki.

MY TITS ARE ALLIGATORS
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

Perfect for the plus-sized woman who wants to look like a couch.

These beautiful lampshades are from Not Too Shabby New Jersey on Etsy.

If you’re anything like me, you can’t get enough knee high nylons hot glued on vintage lampshades. So you can imagine my excitement when I noticed that they actually have a store in New Jersey, where one can ostensibly bring their own socks to be glued on the priceless object of their choosing.

At this point you may be asking yourself, “If these people can completely destroy a pair of vintage lampshades, what they can do with antique furniture?”

Well, lucky for masochists like us, Not Too Shabby has a TRANSFORMATIONS section on their web site, so you can revel in what passes for restoration in New Jersey.

A small antique sideboard with inlaid wood accents magically becomes…

A sink covered with housepaint and a Corian countertop for the downstairs crapper. Note the bottles of nail polish used as decorative accents.

That’s what I call “piss elegant.”

Next, a beautiful wooden flat top vanity with turned legs need a little TLC to be restored to its former glory.

On the other hand, you could just spray paint it hot pink and hope that Snooki is looking for something to put her pickles on.

Next we have “Grandpa’s dresser.” Hard to see what kind of wood we’re looking at, but the Cabriole leg suggests that this is a solid, heavy piece, probably made of fruitwood. You certainly don’t want to paint over those drawers!

Save the paint for everything else! And make sure you slap a mosaic on top so no one can ever restore it. Remember, It’s not a transformation if it isn’t totally ruined!™

Finally, this small ornate server boasts hand carved design elements, hinting at the beauty under the white paint.

Then again… STRIPES

- See more TRANSFORMATIONS here