I cried because I had no feet
Until I met a girl who wore this shit

Sorry, this is not “earth friendly”. You don’t help the planet by sewing two pieces of shit together. In fact, you’ve actually made garbage. The only way this isn’t going to wind up in a landfill is if they do a Hee Haw reunion at the Ashram.

Oh yeah, this is great for the office, provided you pass out hemp leaflets at the swap meet. And what’s with the butterfly penis? That’s some unfortunate applique. Although I guess it’s easy to miss things like that when you’re busy not hemming.

Oh, that looks very comfortable. I’m especially intrigued by the dragging “French” ribbons that you’ll have to keep fishing out of the toilet. And of course, constantly tightening the laces so the thing doesn’t fall off while you’re wandering around Rite Aid, looking for enemas.

This is one step above tying a Sham-Wow around your hips with a shoelace.