Regretsy » Dead Things http://www.regretsy.com Where DIY Meets WTF Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:30:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Goodbye Kitty http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/26/goodbye-kitty/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/26/goodbye-kitty/#comments Fri, 27 Aug 2010 01:45:13 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=20876

UPDATE: Someone placed this Alchemy Request on Etsy today. Thanks to huntuckian for the tip!

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/26/goodbye-kitty/feed/ 106 Hare-Brained http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/04/hare-brained/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/04/hare-brained/#comments Wed, 04 Aug 2010 16:30:53 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=19736

“And the moral of the story is, sleeping rabbits get decapitated, but the slow and steady tortoise gets his shell ripped off and smashed into a thousand pieces. Night-night!”

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/04/hare-brained/feed/ 90 Tiger Wouldn’t http://www.regretsy.com/2010/05/26/tiger-wouldnt/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/05/26/tiger-wouldnt/#comments Wed, 26 May 2010 23:30:34 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=16255

See your window Photoshops here (NSFW)

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/05/26/tiger-wouldnt/feed/ 44 Holy Moley http://www.regretsy.com/2010/05/14/holy-moley/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/05/14/holy-moley/#comments Fri, 14 May 2010 20:30:56 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=15757

Jesus. I’ve seen better moles on Aaron Neville.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/05/14/holy-moley/feed/ 91 Rugrat http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/26/rugrat/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/26/rugrat/#comments Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:30:06 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=14783

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/26/rugrat/feed/ 78 NO SMELL http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/15/no-smell/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/15/no-smell/#comments Thu, 15 Apr 2010 20:30:14 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=13958

“I really wanted an animal carcass in my house, but I was concerned about unpleasant dead wolf odor. Fortunately, New Skin-Rug Wolf™ comes comes with a Professionally Treated Head™, so you can have a dead animal on the floor without your house smelling like rendering plant!

Thanks, New Skin-Rug Wolf™!”

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UPDATE: An eagle-eyed reader found this description in one of the seller’s other listings, providing me with the best laugh I’ve had in a while.
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]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/04/15/no-smell/feed/ 125 Ain’t No Thing http://www.regretsy.com/2010/03/29/aint-no-thing/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/03/29/aint-no-thing/#comments Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:30:45 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=12921

UPDATE: Special thanks to Kurt for making me choke on my tea:

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/03/29/aint-no-thing/feed/ 129 Ashcan Hound http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/18/ashcan-hound/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/18/ashcan-hound/#comments Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:30:47 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=10876

Man, you must have really hated that dog.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/18/ashcan-hound/feed/ 143 JP. Toad’s http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/25/jp-toads/ http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/25/jp-toads/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:30:48 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=9173

THIS IS NOT AN ENDANGERIOUS SPECIES AND BESIDES WE ONLY USED THE TOP HALK

UPDATE:

- Thanks, Shaebay

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/25/jp-toads/feed/ 104 SQUIRREL! http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/17/squirrel/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/17/squirrel/#comments Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:47:17 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=4526

Let’s face it, times are tough for all of us. And with everyone cutting back, it’s the little luxuries that are the first to go. So this Christmas, you can save 20% on a vial of squirrel blood suspended in sterile solution for someone really special.

Happy holidays from all your friends at bleedingsquirrels.com!

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/17/squirrel/feed/ 120 How Now http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/13/how-now/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/13/how-now/#comments Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:05:33 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=1310

The perfect gift for someone who likes dead shit with fruit painted on it.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/13/how-now/feed/ 73 The Reason for the Season http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/12/the-reason-for-the-season/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/12/the-reason-for-the-season/#comments Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:16:16 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=4237

For Rudolph so loved the world, he gave his only foot.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/12/the-reason-for-the-season/feed/ 79 Thoracic Park http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/23/thoracic-park/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/23/thoracic-park/#comments Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:04:26 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=2586

Sucks to be you, Georgia and Tennessee! I can have all the human remains I want where I live! Woo hoo! Someone pass me that femur. Om nom nom nom!

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/23/thoracic-park/feed/ 79 Mock Turtle http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/18/mock-turtle/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/18/mock-turtle/#comments Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:52:25 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=2241

Whimsy! That’s the word I’d use! I’ve got a decaying turtle foot on my cravat and I feel so fanciful! La la la la la!

Jesus, this thing is disgusting. The only way it could be worse is if there were two of them.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/18/mock-turtle/feed/ 43 Pigeon Toed http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/07/pigeon-toed/ http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/07/pigeon-toed/#comments Wed, 07 Oct 2009 22:47:43 +0000 Helen Killer http://www.regretsy.com/?p=893

Oh, what? You thought you were going to get all 6 pairs for $15.00? Yeah, I don’t think so. This isn’t Costco, asshole. I gotta eat too.

]]> http://www.regretsy.com/2009/10/07/pigeon-toed/feed/ 24