“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward had a wooden doll head. Second, there was a part of him – and I think it might have just been his arms – that was made from pipe cleaners. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably a flower pot.”

UPDATE:

The Regretsy reader who bought these ridiculous fucking things has posted a heartwarming photo essay of a brother and sister, opening flower pots with pipe cleaners glued to them. It’s the feel good story of the morning.

“E” for “Execrable’, and “J” for ‘Jesus, you have got to be shitting me.”

I don’t remember Edward Cullen having a mullet. I think this might be Paula Poundstone.