Game of Thrones, Season 2 Episode 7
“A Man Without Honor”
Tonight’s episode featured the return of someone very near and dear to us – the Kingslayer himself, Jaime Lannister.
“Hey, baby.”
We haven’t seen Jaime since the first episode of this season, but he really makes the most of the exposure this time out.
Before I go any further, I’d like to state for the record that I’ve made my peace with the many, many changes that have been made to these stories. It’s been a journey. I can’t spend too much more time wondering why they changed this thing or left out that thing. It’s made it a lot easier. I’ve also been reading a lot of TV reviews by people who aren’t book people, and their perspective is refreshing. I wanted to be more like them.
So, while I always enjoy a good compare and contrast, there’s just no point anymore. Adaptations happen. Was Jaws a worse movie because we didn’t get the subplot of Hooper nailing Brody’s wife? Was The Godfather a lesser film because they didn’t talk about that girl’s vaginal reconstruction? And would Jurassic Park have been better if Jeff Goldblum died like he did in the book? OK, bad example.
I’ve said before that comparisons would be limited, and then went right ahead and did tons of them anyway. That’s what happens when you don’t have an editor. It’ll probably happen again, but just know that I really am OK with how different everything is.
Recaps and things:
That jerkass Theon wakes up and discovers that Tonks played him for a fool. His men tell him that the Stark kids have escaped with HODOR!, and Theon throws a hissy. He tries to butch it up by sucker-punching one of his minions, but no one’s impressed. He’ll have to think up even more dickish things to do in order to curry favor. Don’t worry, he will.
Super Dickery
I could be wrong, but it seems like the more evil Theon gets the bigger his wart grows. By the end of the series he’s going to have an Enrique Iglesias wart.
NOTE: NOT EVIL ANYMORE
North of the Wall we find Emo Jon Snow and the incredibly-annoying Ygritte still doing their Meet Cute. Ygritte only tells Jon he knows nothing one time, and it’s already too many times. She tries some weird flirting techniques, and you can tell how hard-up the men of the Night’s Watch must be, because Snow can barely contain himself.
Ygritte then tries a line of warmed-over populist hokum about how the Wildlings are “the free folk” and everyone south of the Wall is stupid because KINGS. Which is, yes, sort of true, because the whole royalty thing is asinine. Good point there. The War of Five Kings is a huge waste of time and resources.
But the wildlings are also total savages who rape and pillage whenever they feel like it. Craster is a wildling, and he has sex with his daughters and murders his infant sons. This ain’t no hippie commune going on up north. They’re basically like the Iron Islanders, only without the ships. Color me unconvinced by her line of reasoning.
You know when you’re at a party and there’s that guy who can’t shut up about the town he grew up in? That’s Ygritte.
Take him to DETROIT
Down at Harrenhal (which looks great, BTW), we see Grandpa Lannister is really peeved that somebody killed Amory Lorch. Not that he cares about Lorch or anything, but Tywin seems to think this was actually an attempt on his (Tywin’s) life, and that Lorch intercepted the poison dart. Which is a weird leap in logic, to my way of thinking.
There’s a pretty good scene between Tywin and Gregor Clegane, and I’ll say that the new Mountain is not as bad as I originally thought. He’s still not quite as beefy and evil-looking, but his voice is good and gravelly.
If there’s one thing fantasy writing has taught me, it’s that mutton isn’t nearly as delicious as it sounds. Everyone’s always complaining that they’re forced to eat mutton, and Tywin’s no exception. He has another terrific scene with Arya, and I really have no idea where this story is going. The two have such a great back-and-forth, though. Charles Dance has always been good, but Maisie’s keeping right up with him. And no lip-biting!
Tywin seems to have Arya figured out; at least he knows she’s been pretending to be lowborn but isn’t. So what’s his angle? I’m sure he doesn’t know she’s a Stark, because it would be all over for Robb’s plans if his sister was a hostage. I continue to be intrigued.
“Most girls are idiots”
In King’s Landing, Sansa has her period. And while I know all you ladies had Red Tent Events on your special day, Sansa is legitimately horrified. Because now that she’s flowered, there’s nothing to stand in the way of Joffrey trying to get it in. Sansa is almost always obnoxious, when she’s not being hateful, but her awful living conditions do make you feel sympathy. Goddamn you, Sansa. If you’d only told the truth about Nymeria all those months ago, how much of this could have been avoided? If you’d only kept Ned’s plans to yourself instead of blabbing to Cersei…. dammit.
Then the Hound shows up and continues to rule everything. Sansa’s not in love with him yet, but she will be.
In Robb’s camp we see Alton Lannister relaying Cersei’s response to the peace terms. It does not go well, and Alton is thrown into the pen with Jaime. Also, if you told me they had the same actor playing Alton and Gendry, I’d believe you. We’ll get back to the Lannister cousins in a minute, but first it’s some middle school coyness between Robb and what’s her name, Talisa. I guess she needs medical supplies or something. Robb tells her how lucky these men are to have her here tending to their wounds, and Talisa says they’re unlucky that Robb is here, and I want to say “listen, woman, you already used that line.”
Their flirtation is just so unconvincing and cringe-inducing, it’s driving me up a wall. But it’s going to happen no matter how much I don’t want it to, so let’s just move on to the scene between Tyrion and Cersei.
Dinklage’s much-maligned accent is still present, but it’s another thing I’ve made myself get over. The same can’t be said of Lena Headey’s sour bitch-face. I know she can act, but her role on this show has felt very unfocused. Anyway, the two share a really good scene where they talk about what a psycho Joffrey is. Cersei realizes it, and she’s tried to steer him right. As much as she can. It hasn’t worked. Tyrion tells her it’s not her fault, and that her other two kids are very nice little tykes. Then they almost have a moment of brother/sister affection, but since Cersei hates Tyrion and wants him dead she relents at the last moment.
The real subject of her affections, Jaime, is the centerpiece of this episode. We shift back to Robb’s camp for a lengthy scene between Alton and Jaime. It’s a great scene. We get a real sense of who Alton is, and what it’s like to be from one of the lesser Lannister houses. He idolizes Jaime, and even squired for him once.
Scenes like this show you why Jaime was so sorely missed. We’re not sure if he’s completely evil, or just a sociopath. Or maybe he’s just a totally unscrupulous narcissist, in a world where the rich never worry about the consequences of their actions. Jaime really seems to like the poor kid, and they make a connection. Then, Jaime does what he always does. Thinks only of himself.
This scene reminded me strongly of another fabricated scene, from the first season. The scene where Jaime and Jory Cassell reminisce about the day they fought together during the siege of Pyke. That scene had some genuine humanity and wit in it, and was a scary portent of things to come. I still remember when Jory said Theon was “a good lad” and Jaime said “I doubt it.”
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau’s scenes this episode were brilliant. He was born to play this character. The son of a bitch even manages to look handsome and better than everyone else while covered in blood and excrement. That bastard. It’s good to have him back.
Still dreamy
Some more political stuff happens in Qarth, and Warren Sapp reveals himself to be not as friendly as we’d once believed. I have to believe a decent payoff is right around the corner with this storyline, at last. Sapp makes his move and takes over the city, only after making a deal with the warlocks. I hope they address the return of magic at some point, because Pyat Pree does a lot of real magic spell-type stuff here. Not illusions or anything.
“I’m back, and I have the hots for you.”
And I pray that Dany becomes more assertive and less pleading. It helps to have Jorah Mormont back in the fold, after a few episodes without. Even though she basically had to tell Ser Jorah to Bacdafucup, we know he’s good for her. Next week promises some good dragon action. FINALLY
Then we get one more scene with Catelyn, Brienne, and Jaime. The Kingslayer’s cruel barbs about Brienne’s appearance were so perfectly him. And his casual mockery of Ned Stark’s moral lapses appear to push Cat into doing something rash. Something with a sword.
Finally, we see that Theon has lost the battle for his own soul. That sarcastic boy who just wanted a place in the world has been replaced by this man who will do anything to earn respect. If he can’t earn your respect, he’ll settle for your fear. His thirst for power has taken him to places we never thought he would go.
And even if he didn’t do the thing he appears to have done, he’s still done something unforgivable. The final shot is a closeup of Theon’s face, and he knows there’s no turning back. No reclaiming his humanity.
The evil face wart has won.
If Anakin Skywalker had been played by a good actor, and had some decent writing to work with, he’d be Theon Greyjoy.
Pretty much exactly what it looks like
Only three more episodes left, and I think we can all assume that shit will be real from here on in
UPDATE: NED STARK CAKE POPS
