- This post first appeared on Regretsy in October of 2011

This post first appeared on Regretsy in September of 2011

- This post first appeared on Regretsy in September of 2011 –

I admit it. I love the Etsy blog.

Oh, probably not for the same reason that most people love it, but for my money, there is no better resource for clueless wankery. It is a paen to myopia.

These are the people who brought you the yummy charm of the poverty wedding, and recently told you how to make fake Native American sacred objects using old doilies.

Etsy in general is pretty far up its own ass, but the Etsy blog is a celebration of obliviousness. And while I love this blog for these kinds of blissfully unaware features, I am never more entranced than when they try to tackle the serious issues.

So I think you can imagine my delight when I saw this post today:

Where to start? There is so much to love here that I’m drunk with snark.

First of all, I love that the slavery issue is “noted.” That just killed me right out of the gate. I could just see Alison in her ironic Boy George hat, holding a glitter clipboard and jotting little notes about slave labor on a Hello Kitty notepad.

Noted!

And how about that byline? You know it’s going to be hard hitting journalism when the reporter calls herself “Teenangster.” Not many people know this, but Jimmy Breslin often wrote under the name of “Writerboi1930.”

The post is great, but it’s the second part of this exercise that I really enjoy: the instant, fawning approval vomited up by the Etsy glitterdrones.

Is Alison courageous or what? Super Courage Girl, is what I’d call her. In fact, the only thing braver than putting up a blog post is going to a seminar where you do a lot of “roll” playing. Those are the real heroes.

Still, as much as I was enjoying the circle jerk, I couldn’t help but wonder when someone would say it: Etsy is crawling with resellers who sell factory produced garbage made in third world sweat shops. Which means that while Alison here is posting her heart out about the yucky slavery thingy, the Etsy corporation is raking in millions of dollars in fees from the people who keep slave labor profitable.

It’s like the left fingerless glove doesn’t know what the right one is doing!

And then… it happened.

WHOOMP THERE IT IS

You know, when the smackdown happens in an Etsy thread, it’s just about the best thing ever. When someone refuses to buy the upcycled bullshit and talks back, I just sit here and whack my thighs together in delight. Could it get any better?

Yes. Yes it could.

I’ll be in my bunk.