Did you know that Ronald McDonald House collects pop-tabs to raise money for sick children? That’s why I hoard them to make crappy bracelets! So the next time you pick up a beer, look at your wrist and think about how you spent $5.50 for a piece of shit on a string, and didn’t do fuck all for some poor kid who just wanted to die in a clown’s house. Cheers!

Laugh now, but when your left arm gets cold this winter, you’ll be begging for one of these.