This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 11, 2011

No, but that’s her bra. And you look just as hot in it as she did.

By the shores of the East River,
By the rezoned Greenpoint waterfront,
Sat the dipshit Hipsterwatha,
In her feathered Etsy headdress,
Near a shed of mossy barnwood,
Making super sexy duckface.

There, the clueless Hipsterwatha
Called her hot-glued nightmare “native”,
Claimed some tribal inspiration,
Though her only source of wisdom
Was a repeat of Bonanza,
And this season’s Top Chef Texas,
Because Padma is an Indian,
And wears feathers in this month’s Elle.