I have no idea what this is supposed to be. I wish I did, because I love fun-tastic novelty underpants as much as the next guy, provided the next guy doesn’t particularly like fun-tastic novelty underpants.

Maybe I just need to see the cute little poem that comes with it, and then I’ll understand. I tried writing my own, but I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with WHY IS THERE A CORN COB TIED TO YOUR UNDERPANTS.

Hey, I know! Why don’t you figure it out? Leave your best cute little poem in the comments, and the poem I like the best will win this box of shit.

I’ll be over here, counting my Vicodin.

I find it hard to believe that God dictated three CDs of poetry to this woman and the subject of clip art never came up.

YOUR CAT IS FAT
HE’S GONNA DIE
BECAUSE YOU FEED HIM CAKE AND PIE