This is on the front page of Etsy right now. Handpicked, as they say, which is the term I’m starting to think they use when they mean “pulled from my ass”.

Sure it’s $125, but it comes with all the squares she cut out so you can print really small flyers. For fairies.

Well, we’re going to have to agree to disagree. Because what you see as a “groping snout of desire”, I see as a partially chewed milk dud on a stick. And the vagina looks more like a spoon that got stuck in the garbage disposal, which says to me that we should eschew modern utensils and just eat Yoplait out of each other’s pee-holes. At least, that’s what I’m getting out of it.

“This painting is such a piece of shit that I actually laughed out loud while I was making it! That’ll be $25.”

The floor of the Red Lobster bathroom, shortly before discontinuing the Ultimate Fondue.