Working on this site requires a good deal of sitting on your ass, looking at shit. After two years, I’ve realized that this shit can be neatly broken down into two categories:

1. Shit
2. Shit I have to own

Unfortunately, I buy a good deal of number two (see what I did there). In fact, I have come to realize that I am now buying at least one incredible object every week. I like to think of it as an eclectic, lighthearted collection of pop culture iconography, as opposed to a down payment on the house I’ll never have.

To celebrate my poor judgment, I’ve decided to share my most fantastic finds with you from time to time. Think of it as a cautionary tale.

On Tuesday night, as I was getting ready to shut down the site for Wednesday’s SOPA protest, I happened to see this tweet go by:

Needless to say, I immediately went to check out the link, and nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw this:

SET PHASERS TO STUNNED

As I was tripping over myself to get my wallet, I had a sobering thought. If she painted Sulu… did she paint other members of the crew? And more importantly, were those paintings still available?

A quick check of her store revealed that the answers were yes, and yes.

Of course, now the answers are yes and no. Because I bought all 5 of these beauties, and it sucks to be you.

- Star Trek portraits by Gram’s Art on Etsy

This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 3, 2011

I know, I know.

You want this 3D portrait of Nadine, but it’s not for sale. And it hurts. It hurts a lot.

So what are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to quench that longing? How do you fill that goatse in your soul?

Well, I’ll tell you how.

Send Sharie’s Craft World a photo of yourself. Say, this one for example.

Then, you wait.

You wait in a state of heightened, desperate longing, hoping you will look as good as Nadine does. Hoping this will be that thing that makes you whole.

And then, one day, the email. The sweet, sweet email.

It’s all done ready to be shipped with your okay. Here are the pictures I took for you. Thank you, I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed making it!

Oh, dear.

Well that’s a lot better. Starting to really see the resemblance. Not to me of course, but let’s not split hairs.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the best 3D clay portrait of Tyne Daly that I’ve ever seen.

And it gets even better when the eyelashes and varnish are liberally painted on my face, which coincidentally, is how I apply my own make-up.

And there you have it. A treasure that will be handed down for generations, as your descendants try desperately to figure out who it is.

I unreservedly recommend Sharie’s Craft World for anyone who wants a clay portrait of themselves as Paula Poundstone.

In case I haven’t been clear, I would like to state for the record that this is one of the greatest things I have ever purchased, and I cannot wait to get it into my home. This woman was incredibly geniune and a pleasure to work with.

- Submitted by Amanda

This post first appeared on Regretsy on January 11, 2010

High resolution? This is my lucky day! Put me down for a poster, because I really need to know if that’s a pack of silica gel back there, or a butter pat stuck to the baseboard. By the way, I’m also interested in an 8 x 10 of a filthy toilet, so keep me on your mailing list!

UPDATE: Eagle-eyed readers have determined that it is, in fact, a Hall’s wrapper on the floor behind the cat.

No word on what’s next to the wrapper however, which is either a trilobite or a wayward shrimp.