Regretsy » Art

I’M GOING TO NEED $600

Helen Killer — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:15:28 +0000

Six Degrees of Defecation

Helen Killer — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:06:51 +0000

LET’S JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE

Bohemian Crapsody

Bronc Drywall — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:30:46 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on January 11, 2011

I have to admit, this really is a pretty good likeness.

UPDATE: I THINK THE SELLER TOOK IT PRETTY WELL

Regretsy’s Awesome Purchase of the Week

Helen Killer — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 18:47:19 +0000

Working on this site requires a good deal of sitting on your ass, looking at shit. After two years, I’ve realized that this shit can be neatly broken down into two categories:

1. Shit
2. Shit I have to own

Unfortunately, I buy a good deal of number two (see what I did there). In fact, I have come to realize that I am now buying at least one incredible object every week. I like to think of it as an eclectic, lighthearted collection of pop culture iconography, as opposed to a down payment on the house I’ll never have.

To celebrate my poor judgment, I’ve decided to share my most fantastic finds with you from time to time. Think of it as a cautionary tale.

On Tuesday night, as I was getting ready to shut down the site for Wednesday’s SOPA protest, I happened to see this tweet go by:

Needless to say, I immediately went to check out the link, and nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw this:

SET PHASERS TO STUNNED

As I was tripping over myself to get my wallet, I had a sobering thought. If she painted Sulu… did she paint other members of the crew? And more importantly, were those paintings still available?

A quick check of her store revealed that the answers were yes, and yes.

Of course, now the answers are yes and no. Because I bought all 5 of these beauties, and it sucks to be you.

- Star Trek portraits by Gram’s Art on Etsy

NOT FOR SALE

Bronc Drywall — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:30:40 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on February 3, 2011

I know, I know.

You want this 3D portrait of Nadine, but it’s not for sale. And it hurts. It hurts a lot.

So what are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to quench that longing? How do you fill that goatse in your soul?

Well, I’ll tell you how.

Send Sharie’s Craft World a photo of yourself. Say, this one for example.

Then, you wait.

You wait in a state of heightened, desperate longing, hoping you will look as good as Nadine does. Hoping this will be that thing that makes you whole.

And then, one day, the email. The sweet, sweet email.

It’s all done ready to be shipped with your okay. Here are the pictures I took for you. Thank you, I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed making it!

Oh, dear.

Well that’s a lot better. Starting to really see the resemblance. Not to me of course, but let’s not split hairs.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the best 3D clay portrait of Tyne Daly that I’ve ever seen.

And it gets even better when the eyelashes and varnish are liberally painted on my face, which coincidentally, is how I apply my own make-up.

And there you have it. A treasure that will be handed down for generations, as your descendants try desperately to figure out who it is.

I unreservedly recommend Sharie’s Craft World for anyone who wants a clay portrait of themselves as Paula Poundstone.

In case I haven’t been clear, I would like to state for the record that this is one of the greatest things I have ever purchased, and I cannot wait to get it into my home. This woman was incredibly geniune and a pleasure to work with.

Edvard Munchies

Helen Killer — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:30:37 +0000

- Submitted by Amanda

Adam And Summer’s Eve (NSFW)

Bronc Drywall — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 17:30:46 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on January 20, 2011

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and also gave unto her husband with her, and he did eat.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they had been naked. So she put Scrunchies in her hair and gave herself a landing strip.

- Brazilians 4:20

Nature Abhors A Vacuum

Bronc Drywall — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 02:04:10 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on January 11, 2010

High resolution? This is my lucky day! Put me down for a poster, because I really need to know if that’s a pack of silica gel back there, or a butter pat stuck to the baseboard. By the way, I’m also interested in an 8 x 10 of a filthy toilet, so keep me on your mailing list!

UPDATE: Eagle-eyed readers have determined that it is, in fact, a Hall’s wrapper on the floor behind the cat.

No word on what’s next to the wrapper however, which is either a trilobite or a wayward shrimp.

That’s no spoon

Helen Killer — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 22:32:09 +0000

- Submitted by Kara

- By the amazing Alain Bellino

Shart Exhibit

Bronc Drywall — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:30:28 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on December 10, 2010

Fairyin’ Nation

Helen Killer — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 01:30:32 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on December 13, 2010

I do believe in fuhrers! I do, I do, I do!

Thinking Outside The Box

Helen Killer — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 23:30:38 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on November 28, 2009

Oh it’s impressive and all, but it really would have been something if she’d painted a picture of a vagina with her vagina. Then she could have framed the whole thing in tampons and called it “Herotica,” and Sarah Lawrence would have bought it for the Fallopian Studies building.

NOM NOM NOM

Helen Killer — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:30:23 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on April 27, 2010

If you’ve ever wanted a charcoal drawing of a disembodied Asian baby head chewing on a miniature catcher’s mitt, I might have good news for you.

KNIGHTIMAL

Helen Killer — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:16:12 +0000

FROM THE PRODUCERS OF KNIGHT RIDER
AND THE PRODUCERS OF MANIMAL
COMES…

KNIGHTIMAL

A talking Corvette possessed by the spirit of a tiger
Ultimately not very helpful

STARRING ROBERT URICH
and
ALAN THICKE as THE TIGER

The Mirror Has Two Feces

Helen Killer — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 20:30:54 +0000

This post first appeared on Regretsy on January 11, 2010

Hey, don’t sell yourself short! It really does suck.