Sometimes, in my daily embittered trek through The World’s Most Vibrant Swap Meet™, I come across copy that’s so tortured and overwritten that it seems more like bad community theatre than an Etsy listing.

When that happens, I put down my drink and go to my little recording booth, where I try to do justice to these morsels of bat shit in the Nilla Wafer of life.

And now….

REGRETSY THEATRE PRESENTS: THE BACKPACK