This post first appeared on Regretsy on May 3, 2010

You mean it literally appears as if you have a bag of Doritos? Get out!
Everybody’s going to be talking about this!

“Did you fucking see that?”
“No, what?”
“That person just strutted by with an official bag of Doritos!”
“No fucking way! Where do you even find a bag of Doritos?”

And then they’ll both laugh at how much fun to the extreme they just had.

This post first appeared on Regretsy on December 19, 2009

Magic Spinner Production Schedule

WEEK ONE:

MONDAY: Find CD
TUESDAY: Play CD; decide if want to keep
WEDNESDAY: Find new CD
THURSDAY: Organize mirrors
FRIDAY: Organize beads
SATURDAY: Organize other objects
SUNDAY: 6:30 showing of “Did You Hear About the Morgans”

WEEK TWO:

MONDAY: Brainstorm
TUESDAY: Find fishing line and scissors
WEDNESDAY: Attach mirrors
THURSDAY: Attach beads
FRIDAY: Attach other objects
SATURDAY: Post office
SUNDAY: BREATHE

- This post originally appeared in November of 2010

UDATE: This seller took her feature very well. In fact, she responded by sending this email.

Apparently her attorney took too long to file a claim, so she started this club:

Sadly, the club was removed by Facebook for “bullying” and using “photos without permission.”

THIS SHIT WRITES ITSELF

I have to admit, when I saw that this painting was $10,000 I was a little worried. But thank God there are going to be affordable prints soon, because there’s a spot by the couch that is just screaming out for a picture of Mr. and Mrs. Schloer sitting on a brick wall and tripping their balls off.