Hard to believe anyone could get this worked up over Heidi Montag.
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50 comments on Hard to believe anyone could get this worked up over Heidi Montag.
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May 17, 2011 at 9:46 pm
English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
May 17, 2011 at 9:58 pm
We’re all fat, jealous losers, once again! How can we LIVE with ourselves?! D:
May 18, 2011 at 6:06 am
And hard up….
May 19, 2011 at 6:11 am
We’re also dirty whores. But in french! So it’s classy.
May 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Don’t forget that we’re all huge dykes too. Because you know, being called gay is a massive insult.
May 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm
I prefer to think of it as something helpful that keeps out floodwaters. Thanks for the compliment! Stick a finger in me any day
May 19, 2011 at 6:50 pm
I wonder if she can lesbian bait in French too.
May 19, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Damnit! If I get called a fat, jealous loser once again I’m gonna kill myself!!! Now wheres the Koolaid?!?!?
June 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm
next to the chicken.
May 24, 2011 at 12:29 pm
I don’t know about our flouncer, but I can definitely LOVE myself, and live with it. Which reminds me, I need to change batteries on that love of mine. brb!
May 17, 2011 at 10:14 pm
Ooh! Ooh! French M.A. over here! It so rarely comes in useful… *cracks knuckles*
1. If prétentieuse is not referring to some feminine noun from off-screen, it should be prétentieux.
2. Mangez de la merde, bande de sales putes.
May 17, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Thank you I was scrolling through the comments to see if anyone had gotten here before me to correct Pretentious McUppity’s French. My French isn’t that great (took it in HS and a couple semesters in College more than 10 years ago) and even I was itching to correct the mistakes on 2. The lesson here is: If you are going to be snide and look down on people for not having your superior knowledge you had better be damn sure you don’t fuck up.
May 17, 2011 at 10:59 pm
My french is terrible, I only know what I learned from my grandparents, but even I noticed that she misspelled merde…
May 18, 2011 at 2:59 am
I have never even taken French, yet I caught that as well! Tsk tsk.
May 19, 2011 at 9:48 pm
they’re actually both correct. ‘marde’ is quebec french, while ‘merde’ is france french.
May 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Seriously…I caught those errors without even knowing what all the words meant, and I haven’t studied French in 15 years. Not that my French was so great even then. I can’t believe I took all those French classes in high school and college without learning “band of dirty whores”.
May 18, 2011 at 2:49 am
I’ll have to second that (I have lifelong experience in being French).
I keep telling people that in English, French words are either chic or sexy to naughty.
I had forgotten snotty— in both senses? Please enlighten me…
May 18, 2011 at 2:51 am
Oh and if it’s any comfort, a French MA in English isn’t much use on its own either, I’m afraid.
May 18, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Actually, I think she may be French Canadian, where “merde” is often pronounced “marde”, specially when in a fit of rage so the spelling might have been intentional. It would also explain her total lack of comprehension of the English AND French language :/
May 19, 2011 at 10:54 am
I honestly thought she confused herself and was trying to speak Spanish (in reference to your number 2) That would have also been hilarious…
May 19, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Ah but you see, while “merde” is what a frenchy french from France person would say (and by extension, what americans learning french would know), up here in french Canadia we very clearly say “marde”, and as often as possible too ! We only say “merde” when we are trying to sound frenchy french. So I would hazard that the Celine would actually be french canadian.
Je suis un vrai sleuth.
May 24, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Odds are, that she was named after that Canadian Chicken-lookalike woman. She used to be huge in Canada around the time when I was a lame wannabe goth teen who hated it when Mamma Luvvy listened to her. Acting like that means she’s in the correct age range, or never grew out of it.
Great Gramma Luvvy (who’s lived in France since the 1930s) used to complain that Dion spoke such ugly “Quebequois” – and no, I have no idea if I spelled that right. I don’t care, it’s my fourth language, and Speling und Gramer were never my forté.
October 3, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Yeah, you gotta love it; bilingual bad speller.
April 24, 2012 at 12:20 pm
It could be a spelling error or it could be Quebecois. Dialect spelling of dialect pronunciation.
And before you get rude about the quality of French spoken in Canada, Quebec French is as good as Glasgow English any day.
May 17, 2011 at 10:21 pm
I have a penis, but it leaves me to go to work daily…. LOL yes, the bf insists on taking it with him.
May 17, 2011 at 11:27 pm
I have a penis and it stays home… I don’t want to anger the missus. >.>
May 18, 2011 at 12:09 am
Wow.
She said “go suck a dick” like it’s a bad thing.
Would someone please translate “go suck a dick” into French? I don’t trust Google Translate, but I’m sure I can trust all of you.
May 18, 2011 at 8:07 am
Va sucer une bite. Or allez instead of va if you want to use the vous form, but I feel like formality is not required in this particular phrase.
May 18, 2011 at 1:17 am
Overweight, check. Unattractive, not.
Does she even realize that she has openly admitted that she is a bigot?
May 18, 2011 at 8:28 am
Huge, overweight, unattractive dykes who could use a penis? Did she use an insult generator?
May 18, 2011 at 4:20 am
Yep, huge dyke checking in. I quite like being special too.
May 18, 2011 at 8:08 am
She says huge dyke like it is a bad thing …
May 18, 2011 at 9:34 am
Fuck her, I am NOT an embankment constructed to prevent flooding, or keep out the sea.
May 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I was on that same wavelength. Kept thinking “where’s all the damn water?”
May 21, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Here in Manitoba it’s flood season, we need all the huge dykes we can get – and we never turn down whores, get your fat asses up here!
May 18, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Can you imagine the kind of uproar that would result if I went on Etsy and commented that Soandso’s crafts were terrible because he/she is fat and ugly?
I really fail to see how my appearance can invalidate my opinions. I wish the hate mail would clue me in one day.
May 19, 2011 at 11:20 am
My French is also pretty bad; my best sentence is “I don’t speak French well” but even I spotted the spelling/grammar errors in this pseudo-intelligent post. Good job, Celine-you can’t speak TWO languages. Bravo.
May 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Celine had a Field day with this one.
May 19, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Aaand what’s wrong with being a huge dyke?
May 19, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Did she call us whores in French?
Also, why do all Regretsy haters also seem to be homophobic?
May 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm
And it’s merde, not marde.
May 19, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Wow!~I’ve always wanted to be a lesbertarian…and here I HAVE been one and just didn’t know it! What a darn-tootin’ coincidence.
May 19, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Is being able to use a penis a bad thing? Does she prefer to see them as strictly decorative?
May 20, 2011 at 10:21 am
Skinny hot fucked bitch reporting for duty. Oh, and she’s speaking Quebecois, they don’t pronounce shit properly so the spelling thing is no big surprise.
May 20, 2011 at 6:28 pm
I have a penis, but I don’t think I got it because I’m fat and ugly. And I think a problem many fat and ugly people face is that they can’t use their penises very often.
June 16, 2011 at 11:36 am
Do I have this right? “Eat the shit, bathroom whores?” Well, manger mon trou du cul blanchis, vous triste cuntwaffle peu!
September 27, 2011 at 6:13 pm
July 20, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Ah, French, I hate the French! I am French and I hate myself for being french but I am a good person so there’s that…
July 3, 2012 at 8:30 pm
I used to liek u guise wen u made fun of otter ppl, but now you maek fun of me, and I no likey.
July 7, 2012 at 7:54 am
I grew up in Cambridgeshire, East Anglia, UK.
It used to be fenlands (wetlands) but was drained in the early 20th century.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I grew up in and around huge dykes.