Leave it to Beaver!
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46 comments on Leave it to Beaver!
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May 17, 2011 at 10:07 pm
…what?
May 17, 2011 at 10:19 pm
I think this person has been watching too much HBO. Deadwood? Sopranos? Real Sports?
May 17, 2011 at 11:31 pm
Entourage? True Blood? In Treatment? Curb Your Enthusiasm? Big Love? How long did it take them to come up with this post? And why did they leave out Boardwalk Empire?
May 18, 2011 at 12:17 am
Yeah, really… Boardwalk Empire totally deserved a shout out….
Oh and what about Real Sex or Taxicab Confessions???
May 18, 2011 at 8:01 am
OP – Go get some Real Sex and then have a Taxicab Confession about it, you’ll feel better!
May 19, 2011 at 1:29 pm
No one noticed “Dream On”? Or is no one else here that old? Never mind, I need to get going to bingo now.
January 11, 2012 at 8:21 pm
“Dream On” – Yup. Also “Not Necessarily The News”–now that’s an oldie.
Maybe this was the same person who sent that email about getting financial assistance for cable TV.
May 19, 2011 at 2:07 pm
You missed Hung! What a great show! Well, I’ll give this one creativity. I didn’t realized that HBO followed Regretsy.
August 28, 2011 at 9:25 am
And hey…wheres my nummy treats from Oz?!
May 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Viral marketing fail. Or win? I can’t decide.
May 18, 2011 at 4:01 am
My exact reaction.
I particularly stumbled over the line about “yesteryear”. I didn’t realize that glasses could get so rose-colored. Can one see through them? Wait – I take it back. Obviously not, if they equate what is shown on Regretsy with the fine artisan-made crafts of yesteryear.
May 18, 2011 at 10:08 am
I hate nostalgia for the “good ol’ days.” Ok, lady, go live back when women had no rights, babies died in their first year a whole hell of a lot more, and there were no flush toilets. Yeah, sounds fucking fantastic…
May 19, 2011 at 7:28 am
I miss clicked and voted this down. MY BAD.
Other great things: snow plows, deodorant, the internet.
May 19, 2011 at 12:23 am
“The down and dirty cathouse of April’s entourage” I’m pretty sure is a line from a Leonard Cohen song. Plagiarist!
July 16, 2011 at 2:32 am
I love this name so much. I think it should be a branch of Club Fuckery!
May 17, 2011 at 10:17 pm
I made it to “cathouse” before remembering a limerick I’ve read, and couldn’t get beyond it. Oof.
May 17, 2011 at 11:28 pm
I had to read that three times to get it right, but then it made me lol.
May 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm
I’m too drunk to get it. Will you look down on me if I ask for an explanation? Maybe I’ll try reading it again when I’m sober.
May 19, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Ca-toozie is how she ends up pronouncing it. (I think it’s a French joke, but wouldn’t swear to it.)
May 20, 2011 at 12:31 am
It’s okay. I’m sober and I have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about, other than referencing shows or something. I don’t care, she still sounds like a looney.
May 17, 2011 at 10:32 pm
What’s wrong with “be funny or die?” Doing better than most sites, at the least.
May 19, 2011 at 1:48 am
Nobody tell her about http://www.funnyordie.com
I don’t think she’d like it.
May 17, 2011 at 11:54 pm
TL;DR-I like TV!
May 18, 2011 at 8:57 am
“I’m bored. Be funny or die. Dark Generation likes blood. Elitism. Leather. Peanuts.”
May 18, 2011 at 9:20 am
Talk about getting off on one’s own cleverness…
May 18, 2011 at 12:52 pm
mental masturbation at it’s finest.
May 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Time was …yesteryear… at the church craft fair that my grandma turned to me and said, “Can you believe people buy this shit?”
May 18, 2011 at 11:45 pm
We’re a down and dirty cathouse now? Ooh, how scandalous.
May 19, 2011 at 5:11 am
Tell me you love me. TELL ME!!!
May 19, 2011 at 8:22 am
I’m offended he left out “Oz”.
May 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I call bullshit. I think this was a fake flounce. This person’s basic information on Facebook reads as follows:
I’m a cat.
I like TV shows and winding people up.
That’s about it really.
She doesn’t deserve to be in the Annals of Butthurt!!!
(I think that should be this tab’s new name)
May 19, 2011 at 12:43 pm
is boxing after dark somehow worse than boxing in daylight?? lmao. i only box in the early afternoon, like a real gentleman.
May 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm
“…you really need to curb your enthusiasm and go in treatment.”
I’m in treatment, thank you very much. Half-way through my first session, my shrink said “Holy Fuck!” After which, she and I found a bar to help her drink the images out of her brain.
May 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm
…yesteryear??
May 19, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Yeah, I caught that too. It’s a valid word, but misused.
“Time was…yesteryear making stuff by hand was how to make it in America.”
Should have been:
“Time was, yesteryear, making stuff by hand was how to make it in America.”
Or, for larger values of “yester”:
“Time was, yesteryear, making stuff by hand was how to make it in America. That or you bought slaves and had them do it.”
May 19, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Hmm, I just have an image of a room in some wanky art gallery, where the walls are hung with framed peanuts.
September 27, 2011 at 8:16 pm
May 19, 2011 at 2:25 pm
*Blink blink blink* As an American living overseas… void of most things American cable TV… I have to ask Ummmm what the fuckity fuck was THAT?
HUH?
Boggle.
Yup, I am punctuation challenged, bite me.
May 19, 2011 at 6:45 pm
I actually kind of feel flattered by this.
I’m a down and dirty deadwood soprano who plays blood sports! And to think I never knew.
Also something about maximum security. I didn’t really read all of this.
I really did like the way she talked about the comment section, though. It makes it sound like some dystopian, post-apocalyptic whorehouse where we kill people who aren’t entertaining and dissect human bodies for fun, all while following our pimp April around squawking and twanging on wires.
May 20, 2011 at 5:41 am
Mmm . . . *snap, snap, snap* Poetry, man.
Methinksone stays up late into the night with one’s quill, one’s parchment, and one’s cannabis.May 20, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Oh, how Important one longs to be. How Relevant. Sad one winds up so… lame.
July 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm
She doesn’t want anyone else to be made fun of, so she brought her bad poetry to Regretsy.
August 10, 2011 at 4:02 pm
What I loved most about this flounce is the person’s name
Nina J. Vine, spelled sideways, is Vijinne-na
Get it?
Ok, so maybe that doesn’t work very well, but still, that can’t possibly be an accident.
I smell fake fuckery butthurt here….
October 29, 2011 at 11:57 pm
I started reading this and my first thought was, “… But I’m a tenor.”
May 31, 2012 at 9:48 pm
If not for the inclusion of the words “crafters” and “April’s”, I would be 100% convinced this was a spambot spouting random sentences for Bayesian poisoning on WordPress.
July 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Man, I hate it when I get stoned out of my gourd, leave an incomprehensible flounce message, then wake up the next morning on my neighbor’s lawn, not remembering why I was mad.