If you read this site regularly, and really, why wouldn’t you, then you already know I have a thing about balaclavas.

It started when this showed up in my mailbox:

I was so entranced by these that actually asked you to make some for me, thinking I’d just recreate the image with a few friends. Which I did.

I’m not sure we were quite as drunk as the models in the original photo, but I bet it was close.

I sort of thought that would be the end of my fascination with balaclavas, but it wasn’t. Not by a long shot. I don’t know what it is about these things, but I find myself constantly looking for them now. I’m only truly happy when I find one that makes me crap my pants with fear and longing.

Fortunately, there are plenty of them.

Here are some pieces by my newest obsession; Italian artist Aldo Lanzini. His balaclavas have the strange effect of making me very cozy and extremely uncomfortable, all at the same time.

Before you dismiss these as being totally impractical, consider how fun it would be to put one on and go wash your car in the driveway. Or if you live in an apartment, you could just keep one by the door for when that kid comes by to sell you a subscription to People.

- Visit Mr. Lanzini’s web site here

Every once in a while, I like to take a break from seashells and tampons, and show you what real artisans can do.

Ben Cuevas is a Los Angeles based mixed-media artist who works in a wide range of media; from sculpture and fiber, to photography and sound.

This hand-knitted skeleton was created and installed by Cuevas for an arts Festival in New York.

- Ben Cuevas’ website
- DON’T MISS: Ben Cuevas’ Anatomical Balaclavas

From: Jennifer
Subject: Homer Simpson Balaclava

Hi Helen-

My Mom made this for my Husband’s Birthday. He totally looks like a creeper.

- Jennifer

From: K H
Subject: Photo at top of Etsy article

The attached photo was used to illustrate a recent Etsy article about creating a zero-waste garment. Notice anything wrong with this picture?

Sewing from the wrong side and no thread.

I want to post so bad in the comments, but the gushing Etsy cupcakes turn like rabid dogs when you point out things like this.

I would have said “sewing in the grass on your knees with no electricity,” but your answers are good too. – HK

From: Puck
Subject: Crying Glitter Eagle

Enclosed please find a crying glitter eagle condom all the way from Amsterdam!

Last month, a lovely reader named Melissa sent me a completely hideous caftan with pictures of cats all over it (CF4L). When I posted photos, she sent this follow-up email:

From: Melissa
Subject: Caftan had a brief life of glory before it came your way

Here’s my baby daddy wearing your cat caftan.

I think it’s obvious why we’re no longer together.

From: My Brainchild
Subject: Petja Pumpkin

Hi, HK!

I’m a holiday folk artist and big fan of Regretsy. I just finished a piece I thought you might like to see. It’s a clay sculpture for an art show this weekend, and it’s titled Petja Pumpkin (inspired by our favorite Finn). I think this is how Petja might look if he was a cartoon. And a pumpkin.

Keep making me laugh,

- Wendy

Speaking of Petja, the two gig Petja USB drives have finally arrived, and they are completely amazeballs.

The Petja USB was designed by Risa Rocksit, who also contributed illustrations to our book of Finnish Folktales. Profits from these drives will help defray costs of the Regretsy NYC meet-up in May.

Bronc has been shipping these all week, so if you’ve already ordered a Petja head, it is on its way to you now. If you haven’t, what the hell?

Domestic orders:

Buy Petja 2 Gig USB Drive (Domestic Shipping)

International orders:

Buy Petja 2 Gig USB Drive (International Shipping)

And finally …

Hi April,

I’ve been reading regretsy for some time, and I want to thank you. Not only is the site fucking hilarious, not only is the community a close-knit group of amazingly talented and generous fat jealous losers, but Regretsy has helped me hold myself to a higher creative standard.

Regretsy has taught me that it’s not acceptable to just churn out crap onto a site and expect it to sell because I made it. I have an Etsy store, and at one point I had some active listings. They were bad. Not even whimsical, just pure fuckery. I look at the things I listed way back when and I cringe because I now realize that I can do better. It’s not ok to toss out any old kindergarten gold macaroni mess and call it art (or even necessarily craft) just because I made it. Quality counts.

I’ve decided to put some actual time and effort into the creative things that I enjoy before I list anything else for sale, and that’s largely because Regretsy has made me want to have real pride in my work – the pride of a truly skilled and creative person who puts thought and effort into her creations rather than being some “look mommy, can you tell it’s a hippo” glue gun happy lazy ass fucktard.

With my sincere thanks,

Michelle

If you read this site regularly, and really, why wouldn’t you, then you already know I have a thing about balaclavas.

It started when this showed up in my mailbox:

I was so entranced by these that actually asked you to make some for me, thinking I’d just recreate the image with a few friends. Which I did.

I’m not sure we were quite as drunk as the models in the original photo, but I bet it was close.

I sort of thought that would be the end of my fascination with balaclavas, but it wasn’t. Not by a long shot. I don’t know what it is about these things, but I find myself constantly looking for them now. I’m only truly happy when I find one that makes me crap my pants with fear and longing.

Fortunately, there are plenty of them.

Here are some pieces by my newest obsession; Italian artist Aldo Lanzini. His balaclavas have the strange effect of making me very cozy and extremely uncomfortable, all at the same time.

Before you dismiss these as being totally impractical, consider how fun it would be to put one on and go wash your car in the driveway. Or if you live in an apartment, you could just keep one by the door for when that kid comes by to sell you a subscription to People.

- Visit Mr. Lanzini’s web site here