Suffocakes™
(Ed. note – Everyone here has the flu, so you’ll be getting flashbacks for the next couple days)
I swear to God, ever since Martha Stewart did her Dead-Baby-in-a-Dry-Cleaning-Bag diaper cake, everyone’s doing them. It’s such a cliche at this point. “Pregnant? Here’s a dead baby in a bag!” *YAWN*
Just once I’d like to see someone do a Baby-Drowned-in-a-Bucket diaper cake. Now that would be adorable. Especially if the dad works in construction.
January 24, 2013 at 6:10 pm
I wonder if they stick a warning label on the bag? Something along the lines of “Does not include real baby”… may as well put the idea in their heads!
January 24, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Babies are alot like Twinkies. If left in the wrapper, they’ll stay fresh forever. Also, they have a creamy center.
January 24, 2013 at 6:30 pm
Are you implying that babies are being discontinued? Well, they had a good run. Air travel won’t suck as much now.
January 24, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Aw… feel better guys. The flu stormed through here 2 weeks ago and everyone was miserable.
January 24, 2013 at 8:00 pm
January 24, 2013 at 8:47 pm
Why do they call it a “cake” if there is in fact no cake involved? From what I can tell in the description, this is just a pile of supplies arranged in the shape of a baby’s corpse.
January 24, 2013 at 9:01 pm
We can replace the “head” with one of those chocolate marzipan zombie baby heads from a couple of posts ago if it will make you feel any better.
January 24, 2013 at 9:07 pm
Y’know what? It actually would. Thanks!
January 25, 2013 at 12:38 am
Once again, the cake is a lie.
January 25, 2013 at 10:24 pm
I’d like to see a “The cake is a lie” diaper cake then
January 24, 2013 at 9:18 pm
At least they realize Cello is no good without bow.
January 24, 2013 at 9:58 pm
And for a good rosin.
January 24, 2013 at 10:16 pm
Another string of pun threads? Forte shame!
January 24, 2013 at 10:19 pm
No reason to fret! It’s a cello.
January 24, 2013 at 10:20 pm
A minor point, to be sure.
January 25, 2013 at 6:57 am
Always building bridges, aren’t you, Z?
January 25, 2013 at 9:12 am
You always know how to pizzicato on a good time, don’t you, Zippy?
January 25, 2013 at 9:15 am
Well, on that note…
January 25, 2013 at 7:11 am
I just gotta piano ‘m outta here!
January 25, 2013 at 7:46 am
As the resident coroner here, I recommend this. To often, letting a baby sleep on it’s belly can lead to SID, sudden infant death. And as a coroner, this leads to a lot of headaches. SID has no known causes, and no telltale signs. Thus it leads to a lot of headaches…. Was this natural or a homicide? Are there signs of neglect? And so on and so forth. Hours and hours of my life wasted when I could be ordering yet another round of chicken wings at the local Hooters. But if you do it this way it makes my job much easier. All I have to write on the death certificate is “Dipshit parents wrapped the baby in plastic.”
January 25, 2013 at 9:16 am
Bonus: Stench and fluid containment!