Is the fondant flavored? If they’re not chocolate/caramel/vanilla, I am so not interested. As for the zombie baby head, I don’t even know where to start. “Be sure to keep your chocolate sculpture out of direct sun”?
“What’s that writhing mass of insects on your knick-knack shelf?”
“Just a baby head I really shouldn’t eat so I thought I’d display it.”
“Weeeeeeell, thanks for letting us in but we gotta go! This gospel won’t preach itself!”
These would be the ultimate touch for my One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater costume, you all have no idea. I’m gonna win best costume at this year’s Annual Sister Mary Joseph’s Family-Friendly Halloween Hoedown for sure!
I don’t know. I was just going to put them in a sack and take them out and eat them in the most morbid way I could probably think of. But them? Geez, I’m not a monster, you know.
The first time you stayed up past midnight, your first kiss, the day you got that big promotion, the first time you bit into a fondant baby-head…those are the precious memories you treasure forever.
“Wanna eat like Vlad the Impaler, but just don’t have the guts to actually go through with it? Buy my Fondant Babies and no one will know you’re not PURE evil!”
I am thinking if I impaled a few Zombie baby heads on the spiked iron fence in front of my house it might just keep those pesky Jehovah’s Witness guys out of my yard.
Wait I can go to downtown New Haven and mess with Yalies. That school is loaded with wrought iron fences complete with spikes.
The yellow fondant baby doesn’t look like an ethnic selection as much as galloping neonatal jaundice! And as a devotee of the ‘cake wrecks’ site I am inured to fugly edibles!
My trash-guy is kind of a douche (yells, throws shit around), so I’d love to put about 5 or 6 the baby heads on the top of my trash with some rotted meat hidden underneath (for smell) to create the illusion that the heads are rotting. That would probably shut him up.
When I first saw the baby heads I thought, ‘oh my god that idiot made them look like dead, decaying baby heads.’ Then I scrolled down and read the description and…had no idea until now that there was a market for chocolate dead, decaying, zombie baby heads.
It would be the perfect finishing touch for that sheetcake you left out on the back porch two weeks ago. I’ll get the forks!!
When I was a kid and my peers dressed up as zombie babies, I always thought it was rather disturbing and odd. As I’ve aged, its just as disturbing. I’d love to put one of these in the freezer for a family member to find.
Oh, suh-weet! A little ketchup at the neck part. Maybe doing a 3/4 pose. Straight-on would look too fake. THAT would slow my stepson down from always checking the pantry and fridge when he comes over, before he ever says ‘hello’ to his dad and me. You’d think that ‘foraging’ would go away after they get to be, say, twenty-something. This might actually put a stop to it!
Christ on a cracker, I didn’t even notice the body was gone! I was too transfixed by the gelatinous wiggling of the cranium as the knife begins to saw through it.
$35 seems like a really reasonable price for the zombie baby head (although I have no basis for comparison so who knows?). It looks well-crafted and you’d get a lot of chocolate out of the deal (assuming the heads aren’t hollow).
Whoops, the title of the listing actually specifies that they’re solid. Derp.
So yeah…that’s gotta be like 2lbs of chocolate, minimum. Plus all the artistry and hand-painting that went into it. I frankly expected the price to be a lot higher.
So you’re saying you wouldn’t comparison-shop for a cheaper chocolate baby-head? I hear ya. It seems like a pretty fair deal to me, too. Plus, I don’t really want to drive ALL THE WAY down to Hartford to compare prices at the Chocolate Baby Depot- that’s like an hour and a half drive!
It’s like the bumper balls you see on the bug macho trucks. Anyone ever think about the fact that they’re hairless… Wa kind of message is sent by placing shaven/waxen testicles on your dualy?
I actually think the fondant babies are kinda cute. I’d eat one. A little pricy, though. If I could maybe get a bulk rate, I’d just put a bunch of these on stacked tiers next time I’m asked to bring a cake to a baby shower. Either people will love it, or they won’t ask me to bring cake anymore. Either way, I win.
So are the nude baby fondants life-sized? If so, I know what I’m going to do the next time I visit my sister. Just wrap the little darlin’ in a baby blanekt and announce “Sis, guess what! You’re an Aunt again!
I could see eating baby fondue, but not baby fondon’t, and I’m conflicted about baby fondant. A rare moment of overlap betwixt First World and Cannibal Tribe problems.
I just want to order 8 of the baby heads, put them in a duffel bag, and check it on a flight to Estonia. These are the things that keep me going on a Thursday afternoon.
January 23, 2013 at 10:03 am
The heads would look nice next to my wax skull collection.
January 23, 2013 at 10:03 am
also, I kinda want to attend a nude baby shower.
January 23, 2013 at 10:07 am
I’ve tried it. You might want to rethink this.
January 23, 2013 at 10:11 am
Was Kale served as h’orderves along with upcycled shower gifts. Just asking…
January 23, 2013 at 10:03 am
Is the fondant flavored? If they’re not chocolate/caramel/vanilla, I am so not interested. As for the zombie baby head, I don’t even know where to start. “Be sure to keep your chocolate sculpture out of direct sun”?
January 23, 2013 at 10:09 am
This guy had a baby face too, and it didn’t turn out to well for him.
January 23, 2013 at 7:27 pm
those heads make me want to scream “Quaid”
January 23, 2013 at 9:46 pm
nom nom nom
January 23, 2013 at 10:09 am
“What’s that writhing mass of insects on your knick-knack shelf?”
“Just a baby head I really shouldn’t eat so I thought I’d display it.”
“Weeeeeeell, thanks for letting us in but we gotta go! This gospel won’t preach itself!”
January 23, 2013 at 10:10 am
awwwwk!
As if I needed another reason to avoid the dreaded baby shower thing.
Or maybe…I should just buy some of these and give them as gifts at the next shower. That should cut down on the invites!
January 23, 2013 at 10:22 am
These would be the ultimate touch for my One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater costume, you all have no idea. I’m gonna win best costume at this year’s Annual Sister Mary Joseph’s Family-Friendly Halloween Hoedown for sure!
January 23, 2013 at 11:48 am
How would you wear them?
January 23, 2013 at 12:06 pm
I don’t know. I was just going to put them in a sack and take them out and eat them in the most morbid way I could probably think of. But them? Geez, I’m not a monster, you know.
January 23, 2013 at 12:07 pm
there’s supposed to be a “wear” in there. Stupid HTML tags.
January 23, 2013 at 2:20 pm
If ever an event deserved to have “Hobo” at the beginning of its name, this is it.
January 23, 2013 at 10:25 am
The first time you stayed up past midnight, your first kiss, the day you got that big promotion, the first time you bit into a fondant baby-head…those are the precious memories you treasure forever.
January 23, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Memorialize them today with this bare-assed fondant baby! Available in several non-life like colors!
January 23, 2013 at 10:32 am
Welp, looks like I’m going to have my nightmares haunted by disembodied edible zombie baby heads.
Again.
January 23, 2013 at 11:32 am
Turn about is fair play, to the zombies our heads are edible.
January 23, 2013 at 10:40 am
“Wanna eat like Vlad the Impaler, but just don’t have the guts to actually go through with it? Buy my Fondant Babies and no one will know you’re not PURE evil!”
January 23, 2013 at 10:45 am
I would totally buy one of those baby heads for a Halloween party display. It’d be awesome right in the center of the crudités.
January 23, 2013 at 12:44 pm
It will certainly weed out your non hilarity loving “friends.” And really, you can’t put a price on that.
January 23, 2013 at 2:47 pm
Shit, I would take one to the movie theater with me, or eat one on the bus, and I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone sitting next to me
January 23, 2013 at 10:46 am
If you’re going to make edible babies, at least make them look delicious.
January 23, 2013 at 10:48 am
Add glitter sprinkles? Whipped cream hairdos?
January 23, 2013 at 10:51 am
I’d say they look kind of delicious, but then I’d have to duct tape myself between two converging tectonic plates.
January 23, 2013 at 11:21 pm
I found that comment uplifting, Mel. I like your range.
January 23, 2013 at 1:15 pm
If I’m paying that kind of money for chocolate baby heads I want to be able to order them WITHOUT cataracts.
January 23, 2013 at 10:49 am
Buy a baby topper and cut out the cake middleman altogether.
January 23, 2013 at 10:50 am
Is it wrong of me to want to buy a few dozen of those babies, find anti-choice picketers, stand in front of them, and eat the candy babies?
January 23, 2013 at 10:52 am
Or fill an Etsy-crafted uterus-shaped pinata with them?
January 23, 2013 at 12:45 pm
Abortion party!!!! I’ll bring the booze.
January 23, 2013 at 2:24 pm
Float them atop a large bowl of strawberry preserves. Mmmmmmm!!!
January 23, 2013 at 10:54 am
That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a long time. I’ll bring the folding-chairs.
January 23, 2013 at 10:55 am
Can we have the candy babies on a stick? I hate getting my fingers sticky from candy babies.
January 23, 2013 at 1:55 pm
I am thinking if I impaled a few Zombie baby heads on the spiked iron fence in front of my house it might just keep those pesky Jehovah’s Witness guys out of my yard.
Wait I can go to downtown New Haven and mess with Yalies. That school is loaded with wrought iron fences complete with spikes.
January 23, 2013 at 7:51 pm
They were nuthin’ but dirty little traitors.
January 23, 2013 at 11:00 am
Wouldn’t it be fun to hide the cake topper ones in your hand and pretend to sneeze and/or cough them out while visiting a pre-school?
No, no I don’t want to know why I want to do that either. Let’s just move on.
January 23, 2013 at 1:00 pm
Oh my jesus, that made me cackle!
January 23, 2013 at 11:47 am
The yellow fondant baby doesn’t look like an ethnic selection as much as galloping neonatal jaundice! And as a devotee of the ‘cake wrecks’ site I am inured to fugly edibles!
January 24, 2013 at 1:48 pm
The uniform coal black isnt too realistic either.
January 23, 2013 at 11:50 am
My trash-guy is kind of a douche (yells, throws shit around), so I’d love to put about 5 or 6 the baby heads on the top of my trash with some rotted meat hidden underneath (for smell) to create the illusion that the heads are rotting. That would probably shut him up.
January 23, 2013 at 11:50 am
Ewwww….that’s grosss…fondant.
Does anybody really eat fondant? I thought it was just for decoration. Like less-tasty parsley for baked goods.
January 23, 2013 at 11:59 am
When I first saw the baby heads I thought, ‘oh my god that idiot made them look like dead, decaying baby heads.’ Then I scrolled down and read the description and…had no idea until now that there was a market for chocolate dead, decaying, zombie baby heads.
It would be the perfect finishing touch for that sheetcake you left out on the back porch two weeks ago. I’ll get the forks!!
January 23, 2013 at 12:18 pm
The fondant babies look like they’re waiting for you to use a candy thermometer to check their temperature.
January 23, 2013 at 12:27 pm
That does answer the question of where and how to put them on a stick…
January 23, 2013 at 1:04 pm
January 23, 2013 at 2:43 pm
This baby wonders what’chu what’chu what’chu lookin’ at…
I’m going to have the angry baby song stuck in my head for a week. Also the dead eyes opened . It makes for an odd mash-up.
January 23, 2013 at 1:17 pm
When I was a kid and my peers dressed up as zombie babies, I always thought it was rather disturbing and odd. As I’ve aged, its just as disturbing. I’d love to put one of these in the freezer for a family member to find.
January 23, 2013 at 1:48 pm
Oh, suh-weet! A little ketchup at the neck part. Maybe doing a 3/4 pose. Straight-on would look too fake. THAT would slow my stepson down from always checking the pantry and fridge when he comes over, before he ever says ‘hello’ to his dad and me. You’d think that ‘foraging’ would go away after they get to be, say, twenty-something. This might actually put a stop to it!
January 23, 2013 at 5:27 pm
so, how did you distinguish that you were zombie babies, as opposed to just ordinary zombies?
January 24, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Binkies and diapers! And it wasnt me, my mom made sure we dressed up as benign and ordinary things like roaches and cans of raid
January 23, 2013 at 1:42 pm
What… I don’t… fondant… babies? Edible? What? Why?
Damnit, Etsy.
January 23, 2013 at 1:48 pm
I think the actual cakes made to look like babies are even worse.
January 23, 2013 at 1:56 pm
That is a horrible thing you’ve posted there. Just as soon as I stop laughing I’m going to throw up.
January 23, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Can I just say, I don’t have kids/don’t want kids/am not at all sentimental about babies, but that GIF still makes me cringe. GAH.
January 23, 2013 at 11:29 pm
No, I say! A thousand times No! I’m not sure why. Do I have a soul after all? Crap.
January 24, 2013 at 12:50 pm
I don’t know which is more disturbing to me, the look of giving the baby a lobotomy, or the fact that the rest of the body is missing.
Or maybe just that it’s not chocolate cake.
January 24, 2013 at 8:45 pm
Christ on a cracker, I didn’t even notice the body was gone! I was too transfixed by the gelatinous wiggling of the cranium as the knife begins to saw through it.
January 25, 2013 at 2:52 pm
That right there is a missed opportunity. It should have been Red Velvet cake.
January 23, 2013 at 2:05 pm
$35 seems like a really reasonable price for the zombie baby head (although I have no basis for comparison so who knows?). It looks well-crafted and you’d get a lot of chocolate out of the deal (assuming the heads aren’t hollow).
January 23, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Whoops, the title of the listing actually specifies that they’re solid. Derp.
So yeah…that’s gotta be like 2lbs of chocolate, minimum. Plus all the artistry and hand-painting that went into it. I frankly expected the price to be a lot higher.
January 23, 2013 at 2:13 pm
That could probably be arranged if you insist.
January 23, 2013 at 2:16 pm
So you’re saying you wouldn’t comparison-shop for a cheaper chocolate baby-head? I hear ya. It seems like a pretty fair deal to me, too. Plus, I don’t really want to drive ALL THE WAY down to Hartford to compare prices at the Chocolate Baby Depot- that’s like an hour and a half drive!
January 23, 2013 at 2:48 pm
i think they match prices if another baby head dealer offers theirs for a lesser price. at least they should, it’s just good business.
January 23, 2013 at 11:36 pm
But Choco Babe Depot has licorice strip umbilical cords and raspberry placentas – NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY???
January 23, 2013 at 5:12 pm
I think they are 35 pounds not dollars. More expensive.
January 23, 2013 at 5:44 pm
35 GBP is about $55 USD. I might be willing to spend the money if I could scare a whole bunch of people with it before I ate it.
January 23, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Did anyone else see that when you order your zombie baby head, you can also order chocolate testicles!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/121078518/chocolate-testicles
January 23, 2013 at 11:37 pm
“as castrated” or who would want to eat them?
January 23, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Chocolate Testicles.
‘Nuff said.
January 23, 2013 at 2:46 pm
I’d like mine with nuts.
god, i’m sorry for that. i type faster than i think.
January 23, 2013 at 2:54 pm
And wallah!!
January 23, 2013 at 2:56 pm
From the maker of chocolate baby heads, it’s chocolate testes!!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/EvilCakehead
January 23, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Have they been sitting in the bath too long?
January 23, 2013 at 3:16 pm
It’s like the bumper balls you see on the bug macho trucks. Anyone ever think about the fact that they’re hairless… Wa kind of message is sent by placing shaven/waxen testicles on your dualy?
January 23, 2013 at 3:16 pm
What* even. iPad typing, enough said.
January 23, 2013 at 3:51 pm
I’m borrowing “bug macho” and the naked testicles reference for the next drive past the Monster Truck rally.
January 23, 2013 at 6:42 pm
Oh wow, dehydrated testicles. It’s like beef jerky only not as tasty.
January 23, 2013 at 11:39 pm
It’s jerk beefy! With cream sauce!
January 23, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Are those fondant babies anatomically correct? What if I specify a boy baby and they send me a girl? It would upset me all day.
January 23, 2013 at 4:56 pm
These need to be served with fava beans and a good Chianti.
January 23, 2013 at 5:31 pm
I actually think the fondant babies are kinda cute. I’d eat one. A little pricy, though. If I could maybe get a bulk rate, I’d just put a bunch of these on stacked tiers next time I’m asked to bring a cake to a baby shower. Either people will love it, or they won’t ask me to bring cake anymore. Either way, I win.
January 24, 2013 at 7:10 am
If you can get a bulk rate, do them as cupcake toppers. That way, everyone can have their own cute little horror to devour.
January 24, 2013 at 2:59 pm
mmm… sweet, delicious baby-cakes…
January 24, 2013 at 2:59 pm
made from real baby!
January 23, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Okay, I’ll admit the heads are terrifying. If I’m ever asked to give a baby shower, I think these would get me out of ever having to do another one.
But I have a strange desire to eat a fondant baby. Preferably in front of all the people I wish would leave me alone.
January 24, 2013 at 12:53 pm
Starting with the baby’s head, right!? Like a chocolate bunny?
January 23, 2013 at 9:26 pm
So are the nude baby fondants life-sized? If so, I know what I’m going to do the next time I visit my sister. Just wrap the little darlin’ in a baby blanekt and announce “Sis, guess what! You’re an Aunt again!
January 23, 2013 at 11:45 pm
I could see eating baby fondue, but not baby fondon’t, and I’m conflicted about baby fondant. A rare moment of overlap betwixt First World and Cannibal Tribe problems.
January 24, 2013 at 4:46 am
Would You Like a Jelly Baby?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnpkQm67cfA
PS: Those zombie baby heads really creeped me out.
January 24, 2013 at 12:56 pm
Oh. My. God. Tom Baker. I got weak at the knees seeing that sweet, curly haired devil. My, my didn’t I have the crush on him back in the day…
January 24, 2013 at 12:20 pm
I just want to order 8 of the baby heads, put them in a duffel bag, and check it on a flight to Estonia. These are the things that keep me going on a Thursday afternoon.
January 24, 2013 at 5:48 pm
The heads:
January 31, 2013 at 5:55 pm
All I’m saying:
(Study of Two Severed Heads by Theodore Gericault)