I know frat-guy code when I see it.
“Looking to fulfill “Maid/Roommate Threesome” fantasy as chronicled in the pages of Hustler Magazine.”
It says “dogs are OK,” so I assume they will be cool with someone extremely ugly.
No they are the dogs you see. Doggish men who want a slave. Sign me up for two fray boys who are probably sobs and want some to clean up after them.
It could be a gay couple with trust issues. Some woman might just stumble into the cushiest set-up ever! You just know there’s a good chance they’ll buy her nice clothes.
It’s too douchey to be gay guys. It’s Miami Vice-style cheesedicks with feathered hairdos, I just know it. There’s copies of Maxim on the coffee table and a six-pack of Zima in the fridge (just in case they trick an actual girl into coming over).
I got a whiff of ‘finance major’ in there, I smell a junior account manager or some bullshit like that.
$50 there’s a large, empty bottle of Belvedere somewhere in that house.
$1,000 says there’s at least 3 hidden cameras in the house- one’s definitely in the bathroom.
All of the above, AND “extremely discounted rent”. Imagine, a veritable Calgon-take-me-away situation if I ever saw one.
Ooh I think they served cheesedicks at the last bachelorette cocktail party I went to…
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If it was a gay couple then listing would be posted on eltonslist
If you lived with your boyfriend youd end up doing this shit anyways. How much of a discount on rent? And why do I have to touch you?
The massage is the deal breaker. Otherwise, it sounds like a decent set up to me. I cleaned houses for a time, this is the same except where I lived.
But no massages. That’s the creepy thing.
I was kind of thinking this was at least more honest than a couple of slobs who try to lure in a female roommate and then just expect her to clean up… until it got to the massage part. Pretty sure some of their respondents will be undercover cops.
What, no happy endings?
I am sure that is negotiable.
I’m sure if you took the job you’d find out this was “implied”.
Translation: Mom is moving to Florida, 2 lazy asses need to replace her, but we’d also like to make some money.
I could have sworn your comment wasn’t here when I said almost the same thing a few minutes ago down at #15. This does illustrate how smart, and probably good-looking, you are!
The minds of the beautiful, and intelligent always think alike.
“It’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests”
Said the ad seeking a service.
My bad, I misspelled servant.
Oh, I’m sure they’re seeking service too.
They were wise to not mention the dress code until after she had gotten past the massage part. “The really short skirt is to make it even easier to bend over!”
Is that code for ‘hand job’?
I thought they were so subtle, but everyone seems to have figured it out, damn google.
Between leaving and releaving you have to come.
I can’t believe these two classy guys are single!
Does the maid/roommate have to clean behind the Kathy Ireland Bud Light posters and the tiki mini-bar, too?
For our younger participants, substitute Megan Fox for Kathy Ireland.
Oh yeah. Megan Fox. I forgot that my Douchebag criteria were a bit dated.
I’m betting these guys have posters of the cast of Jersey shore, with emphasis on Snooki.
There is no substitute for KI.
I wish I’d have been there to hear the current roommate’s reaction when they proposed the idea to her.
Some young female gets to cook, clean, and even massage these assholes and gets to PAY for the privilege? Douchebags.
Speaking of assholes, maybe we could get Duct Tape Human Centipede Guy to apply and come in for an interview dressed as a girl. That might wrap things up quite nicely.
Hey, they’ll probably even include free hand lotion/massage oil in the price. What woman wouldn’t pay for that kind of deal?
But really, once you’re cooking nightly, cleaning daily, massaging regularly, and doing laundry for these two when are you supposed to find time to go make MONEY for RENT???
Seems totally legit.
I think I found them. They’re the two nice young men in the center. And, they drink Heineken, just like James Bond. It’s a win for everybody.
America’s future looks SO bright!
…I have to wear shades / stab myself in the eyes.
If you put your face within 3 inches of any of their heads that hair will take care of your eyes for you. Work smart, not hard (unless you’re paying two dudes to give them massages, then you’d better work hard)!
Now I appreciate their altruism, these guys could easily demand additional rent money for the privilege of serving them.
This is most certainly true. I’m sure it will come to pass. Hair gel is expensive.
They must be rolling in it! (I mean hair gel)
Soaking in it /-Madge
ok, dating meself
Don’t feel bad. My first though in looking at them is “My God, are they actually OLD enough to drink legally?”
That picture is histerical. Same haircuts. Same kind of shirt. Same fake tans. So glad I am old and these are not in my dating pool.
The guy 2nd from left looks about 10 years too young to drink. It’s been a loooong time since he was in my dating pool…
Looks like they got cloning to work, but only on the brainless.
Are these some of Victoria Gotti’s unholy spawn?
I have only a few questions:
Am I allowed to vote? Speak even when I am not spoken to? Hold down a job outside the home? Choose whether or not I want to have children?
I’m guessing it’s “no” to all of those questions.
“Bikini Thursdays” are mandatory, however, along with “No Pants Fridays”.
The real questions are; how did you get access to a computer and who let you learn to read and write anyway? If you answer this while wearing shoes, you’re in even bigger trouble!
I’ll bet like 30 high-fives per minute go down in that apartment.
Every third word is “bro” or some close variation including “broheim”.
Cinco de Mayo holds more reverence than Christmas in that place, I’m sure of it.
Dude 1: “Bro, that was like, the third free-maid we had in here in like one f-ing month”
Dude 2: “I know Bra, can you believe they ALL stole our shit and split.”
Dude 1: “Seriously dude, WTF is this world coming to?”
Dude 2: “Fuck it, Brohambra. I guess we’ll have to go to Plan B. I’ll go get the chloroform.”
Dude 1: “That’s Clorox, Broseph. That won’t work.”
Dude 2 “Are you sure, Brohypnol?”
Dude 1: “Positive, Angelina Brolie.”
Dude 1: “You are a Brobdingnagian Bro, Bro.”
Dude 2: “You’re quite the Brohemoth yourself, Bro.”
*make-out session ensues*
I hope this becomes a Sockpuppet Theatre episode so I can learn how “Brobdingnagian” is pronounced.
Your move, Winchell!
Set to the theme music “Rad Bromance”, I hope!
James Brolin could play Dude #1 and Adrien Brody could play Dude #2.
People, you’ve made me weep and snort within the same breath…and for that, I thank you all!
This compelling ad has me ditching the studio apartment idea in favor of paying someone else to let me cook and clean up after them.
Me too! I’ve got dibs on cleaning the bathroom every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday morning!
Deal, but only if I’m the one that gets to fetch them a beer every half hour
Excellent. Let’s leave the empties beside the garbage disposal chute instead of taking them outside – a labor-saving trick I learned from some former neighbors who produced them at an incredible rate.
What did they do to make whichever one of their moms it was move out in the first place?
My guess is one of them got caught jerking off to the Old Navy newspaper insert.
There was probably some salty language involved.
Who volunteers to troll these guys?
I wanted to, but sadly, the post has been removed.
I love the assumption that she won’t have a car/be allowed to take up space in the garage (which is full, what with the beer pong setup, the massage table, and the boflex.) I mean, they mentioned taking the bus or walking, but no mention of a parking space…
In fairness, nobody owns a car in Boston.
No fuckin’ parking spaces (especially not in Hahvid Yahd, tyvm).
In Boston proper, no, but in Somerville? That’s some bullshit. As is the price tag, frankly.
But then, the brown tint of the thing was pretty clear from the moment they specified the gender of their servant.
And age. Don’t forget age.
Yesss this is in my neighborhood. And I’m looking for a place, too. Sending an email = now.
They don’t want one smart enough to know how to drive. I guess she can grocery shop for them on the bus too.
Why is the washer & dryer in the driveway? How is that any way to live?!
Maybe there used to be a garage at the end of the driveway. They woke up one afternoon and it was just gone.
Given the general concept here, it’s probably a creek with some great rocks and a string tied to a couple of trees at the end of the driveway.
Alright, I just poked around CL, and it looks like a REALLY nice place in that area would run around $1200/month for 1/3 of a 3-bedroom, which is just a *smidge* more than what places go for around here. Why am I paying my housekeeper $175 a month to clean every 2 weeks when I could put someone up in my guest room for, say $200/month and have them do ALL of my domestic work EVERY single day.
And I feel terrible for the poor international college student who will ultimately end up talking to these guys. Not that she’ll have to live through the horror of living there, at least, seeing as she won’t fulfill their “American Pie”-style fantasies. I would move in for a day just so that I could put itching powder in their underwear (I wouldn’t pass the maid fantasy test, either).
I did the math too. (And the range for a room in a shared house is more like $500-800. Outliers are $1000+.)
They aren’t paying her anything except room, of course, so let’s figure it out:
Say she would have had to pay $800/month for the room. She is paying $400. So they are paying her $400/month to do all the cooking, cleaning, and massaging. An annual salary of almost $5000, and working for such nice guys, too! What a find!
I’m definitely hoping the cops send a pretty young thing undercover. Can’t think the IRS would be very happy about it either.
I live in the exact same neighborhood and pay a little over 500 dollars (575) for a huge room in a three bedroom and I still have my freedom. Something just isn’t right here…
Same here; I’m paying $533 for a room in a two-bedroom near Winter Hill, with private parking, spacious common areas, etc.
$133 a month seems an awfully low rate for full-time domestic servitude.
wow. … I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
In Boston, maid pays you!
Honestly, getting 400/month plus free room and board, and TWO master? Ooooh what a deal!
Wait. the 400 is the *rent* and not the *salary*??!
It’s the recession. A decade ago out here in Podunk NW a live-in housekeeper/cook with “personal care” was making $1600 cash along with room, board and two days a week off. AND a parking space.
Horrible sexist jagoffs who can’t spell. Sign ME up!
No, but seriously, fuck those guys.
No one is sad and sympathetic that they are constantly stressed??? Dear me, whatever is humanity coming to?
It’s stressful to get those hairdos looking so perfect. Cut them some slack.
Attempted to troll. Asked them when I’d be paid my $400. Asked them if they wanted “special finish” to massages.
Got auto-message from Craigslist saying listing was taken down.
If you guys think this is bad, search “gay” on roomate ads for craigslist. There are usually older guys offering “free rent” for younger guys that will serve as a live in “boy toy”. This usually applies to older straight men trying to find “women toys” who are much younger than themselves.
Thank you for an awful visual of Jackie Gleason and Richard Pryor.
(Never saw the movie, was creeped out by the posters.)
Wanted: Young housemate in excellent health with few in-town attachments. Must pass rigorous tissue-matching tests and be a very deep sleeper. Cats OK, no overly-loyal dogs.
Is there minimum limit on kidneys?
I’m really sad. I read the listing as giving “Stress relieving messages.” And I was thinking that maybe they wanted like Stuart Smalley “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” Sort of maid with daily affirmations.
Even though I now realize it was MASSAGES, I’m still gonna go with mine.
All I want for my birthday, is for some really attractive opportunist to take them up on their offer, only to roofie them, and then empty their bank accounts and tattoo this ad on their chests, ala Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
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