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M4M4M

70 comments on M4M4M

  1. Matt Johnson
    January 20, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Yeah, don’t “pussy out” on the human centipede thing. You’d really look like a total pussy if you don’t go through with getting your face duct-taped to someone’s asshole.

    Thumb up Thumb down +115

  2. Valmonty
    January 20, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Ugh. This *would* come from the Florida of the West.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  3. Zippy
    January 20, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Whatever happened to just having friends over to melt your epidermis and smaller extremities off because you enjoy “The Fly”? The 80′s were a simpler time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  4. vicogin
    January 20, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Thank God it’s “just duct tape.” Actually sewing people together would be too weird.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

    • Zippy
      January 20, 2013 at 10:34 am

      I think you mean “sowing”. Because he wants to see what comes up.

      Thumb up Thumb down +35

  5. vicogin
    January 20, 2013 at 10:23 am

    Craigslist strikes again. At this point they might as well just change the name of the website to http://www.cometomyhousestickapineappleupmyassandstabmeinthehead.com

    Thumb up Thumb down +86

    • lizzy1
      January 20, 2013 at 11:20 am

      I’m dumb enough to have actually thought that was a link. Kudos!

      Thumb up Thumb down +62

      • Valmonty
        January 20, 2013 at 12:32 pm

        Of course, there’s probably a whole *forum* dedicated to that particular fetish now.

        Thumb up Thumb down +20

        • SporkTastic
          January 20, 2013 at 11:35 pm

          Rule 34. No exceptions.

          Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • felinecritic
        January 20, 2013 at 3:34 pm

        I thought it was a link too! but i was too scared to click on it…

        All just as well, I guess I don’t really need “I’m sorry but Google could locate no results for “come to my house stick a pineapple up my ass and stab me in the head”, would you like to search for something else?” in my browser history.

        Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • Agent_of_Chaos
      January 20, 2013 at 7:46 pm

      I am very sad that wasn’t a real link.
      *sob*

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

  6. Matt Johnson
    January 20, 2013 at 10:37 am

    If this dude invites you over for a game of Twister, DON’T GO.

    Thumb up Thumb down +103

    • Zippy
      January 20, 2013 at 10:43 am

      If he asks you to help him get a roll of duct tape that rolled under the couch, tell him your bad knee is acting up.

      Thumb up Thumb down +62

    • melagrana
      January 20, 2013 at 10:43 am

      And if this dude starts talking entomology, don’t engage.

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

      • lizzy1
        January 20, 2013 at 11:24 am

        Arthropodology, surely? Entomology would surely be for people with a fetish for being mated with while being messily devoured head-first, duct-taping themselves into a cocoon for a fortnight or swelling up to enormous proportions and squeezing out eggs until they expire?

        Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • lizzy1
      January 20, 2013 at 11:24 am

      Huh, fool me once…

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • BlueYonder
      January 20, 2013 at 11:30 am

      If he asks you what you thought of the Saw movies, answer in the form of running.

      Thumb up Thumb down +58

      • Stretch65
        January 20, 2013 at 4:59 pm

        File this under “Craigslist Bad Idea Collection” then run…

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

  7. lizzy1
    January 20, 2013 at 11:29 am

    He doesn’t specify the time-frame, either. Is this just for a photo-opportunity and shits-’n-giggles? Or is it a longer-term affair?

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • felinecritic
      January 20, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      hm, so he doesn’t. that seems like something you’d want to know going in…

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • Stretch65
      January 20, 2013 at 5:17 pm

      I recommend not staying. Just scat.

      Thumb up Thumb down +57

  8. BlueYonder
    January 20, 2013 at 11:31 am

    “This is something I always wanted to try. Godless, insane perversity.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  9. lizzy1
    January 20, 2013 at 11:58 am

    Also, props to duct tape, but doesn’t he have crazy glue where he comes from?

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • felinecritic
      January 20, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      well, that would be an emergency room visit to remember.

      Thumb up Thumb down +61

  10. katiechui
    January 20, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    *shudders* That film was on last night

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • lizzy1
      January 20, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      On what? Do actual channels carry it??

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • katiechui
        January 20, 2013 at 6:03 pm

        I think it was on Syfy

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

        • pearlheartgtr
          January 20, 2013 at 7:02 pm

          It still grates the shit out of me that they had to dumb down the spelling of “Sci-Fi” because of the fucking idiots who couldn’t pronounce it.

          Thumb up Thumb down +33

          • Stretch65
            January 20, 2013 at 7:44 pm

            actually they couldn’t trademark “Sci-Fi” so it comes down to $$$ Granted Syfy reads like it would be an STD but Syfy is still better than Cloo

            Thumb up Thumb down +25

            • Agent_of_Chaos
              January 20, 2013 at 7:49 pm

              Siffie!

              Thumb up Thumb down +10

            • pearlheartgtr
              January 20, 2013 at 8:23 pm

              Ok. Because the article I read about it back when the change was still brewing (before it was official) said that the change was because people were confused on how to pronounce it. Skiffie, Siffie, SkyFi, etc.

              It still annoyed me when I would be talking to someone and they would mispronounce it.

              Thumb up Thumb down +7

              • Zippy
                January 20, 2013 at 8:53 pm

                I voted for PsyPhi but that was just “The Twilight Zone” episodes and sorority footage.

                Thumb up Thumb down +34

  11. Babs Johnson
    January 20, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Goddamn NAU kids have way too much time on their hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  12. Zippy
    January 20, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    This is going to dovetail nicely with my “Duct Tape Mummy” fantasy where I trick 1-3 people into being an archaeological mystery a couple centuries from now. *goes shopping for duct tape and chloroform*

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • melagrana
      January 20, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      *starts house hunting in Marianas Trench*

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • Zippy
        January 20, 2013 at 7:53 pm

        You’ll never get a good Youtube connection down there! How will you watch my hilarious video of a M4M4Mummy trying to find the end of the duct tape to peel off?
        Plus, that pyramid won’t build itself and you seem strong and good at piling stuff up.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • melagrana
          January 20, 2013 at 8:08 pm

          *sigh*
          OK, I’ll help with the piling stuff up, but no duct taping, OK?

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • Zippy
            January 20, 2013 at 8:56 pm

            Remember, the small pointy bit is at the very top.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

            • melagrana
              January 20, 2013 at 9:03 pm

              Wait a minute…is this pyramid pink, with cantilevered unibrow?

              Thumb up Thumb down +15

              • Zippy
                January 20, 2013 at 10:08 pm

                We’ll build the Ultimate Fighting Octagon later, I promise.

                Thumb up Thumb down +14

  13. Badger
    January 20, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    Before I got on the internet, I was pretty much ignorant about sexual fetishes beyond BDSM. I miss those carefree days, when I had no idea what goatse or blue waffle were.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

    • Stretch65
      January 20, 2013 at 7:45 pm

      Thanks to my no-click policy I still think a blue waffle is a Smurf movie tie-in at IHOP

      Thumb up Thumb down +40

      • Agent_of_Chaos
        January 20, 2013 at 7:52 pm

        I’m with you on that one. But that still kinda terrified me. Especially since that one time where I accidentally clicked on some sort of dutch? Smurf gang-bang porn. I’ve never been able to watch any Smurf media since then. (Also I still have nightmares. Sooooo much blue paint….)

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • Midnight Rambler
          January 20, 2013 at 10:42 pm

          I’m actually having a hard time picturing that. Was it real people dressed as Smurfs? Or sort of a fetish anime cartoon?

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • Stretch65
          January 21, 2013 at 10:15 am

          …and Papa Smurf repeatedly saying “Who’s yer daddy”

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Zippy
      January 20, 2013 at 7:58 pm

      And I still think goatse is an online dating service for goats. DON’T BURST MY BUBBLE!

      Thumb up Thumb down +25

      • melagrana
        January 20, 2013 at 8:08 pm

        Colorblind goats who like waffles. I don’t want to know more.

        Thumb up Thumb down +15

  14. Captain Kangaroo
    January 20, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  15. gwendy
    January 20, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    I think the best part is that it’s under “Casual Encounters”. Because when hasn’t ductaping 3 or so strangers mouth to asshole in some random guy’s living room been a completely normal, everyday kind of group activity? It’s as commonplace as a night of video games and pizza, or summoning the souls of the damned with the harrowing screams of children.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

    • Midnight Rambler
      January 20, 2013 at 10:41 pm

      Sure, perfectly ordinary. Just don’t call it up if you’re not sure you can put it down.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  16. Solarmew
    January 20, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -49

    • Matt Johnson
      January 21, 2013 at 8:25 am

      That ad didn’t make you laugh even a little bit?

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Zippy
      January 21, 2013 at 10:38 am

      April and Bronc and Crochet may have perpetuated various crimes against god and humanity but I can’t believe this would be one of them. The poster might be a troll but not Team Regretsy!

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • anderdun
      January 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm

      I sent this in and I’m pretty sure Bronc or April did not make it up. In fact, this is not the first time I’ve seen this post, but didn’t think of sending it to regretsy until now.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  17. sidefaceflames
    January 20, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  18. Triscuits
    January 21, 2013 at 6:09 am

    I’ve had duct tape ripped off my wrists and ankles. It hurt like a bitch- and not in a good way. I can only imagine how much more this would suck. “Great, I’ve been breathing in somebody’s wet lubricated farts for an hour, now it’s time to rip out all the hair that’s gotten caught in wads of inexpertly-applied duct tape.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  19. Matt Johnson
    January 21, 2013 at 8:23 am

    I love how it’s posted in “Casual Encounters”.

    “Hello?”
    “Hey Ron? It’s Jim. What’s going on?”
    “Nothing much. Just having a relaxing Saturday over here with two dudes I found on craigslist. We’re about to duct-tape our mouths to each others’ assholes- you know, like that ‘human centipede’ thing. You wanna come over and chill with us?”
    *click*

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • melagrana
      January 21, 2013 at 9:03 am

      Couldn’t be listed as a brief encounter, what with all the taping and positioning involved.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • Matt Johnson
        January 21, 2013 at 9:10 am

        Maybe “Miscellaneous Romance”? It’s pretty miscellaneous if you ask me!

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  20. Stretch65
    January 21, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Better yet “missed encounters”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  21. pikmintaro
    January 21, 2013 at 11:16 am

    100% scientifically accurate!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • tokyochaser
      January 21, 2013 at 11:49 pm

      100% SEXUALLY accurate!

      Thumb up Thumb down -2

  22. Plembot
    January 21, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    I sure hope they have a safety word in case things get too weird. Something that could be recognized even when muffled into a butthole through a duct tape gag.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  23. Stretch65
    January 21, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    The duct tape safe word is QUACK

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

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